A to Z with Meryl and Me

The End of a Blog

2011-09-23T11:22:00.001-04:00

This is the end of my blog. I'm sure there will be another A to Z or Love Project that motivates me to write once again. For now though, thank you all for reading, watching, commenting and supporting me. I love you.

Cannot believe it sometimes

2011-09-04T15:41:00.000-04:00

I'm sitting here minding my own business and Cassie just made me want to change my name and leave the country. Over the years she has lost, ruined and given away so many of my favorite pieces of clothing that I cannot count. Some items off the top of my head include a Kenneth Cole coat I wore only two times, a pink jacket that I got in Paris, my prom dress from Senior year that I used to see if I gained weight from High School, my diamond wedding ring, oh and there are so many more items that I cannot even type them without feeling my blood pressure sky rocket. I truly can picture at least 3 more coats and countless precious pieces that have disappeared. It's really sad.

So yesterday, I went into her closet, chose a dress and wore it all day long. The main difference is when it came back, well, it actually CAME back. I didn't leave it where I was and had I left it, my friend would not have traded it with another friend. It did not end up in some alternate universe where dresses go to die but instead came back in perfect condition.

What does this have to do with A to Z? Well, I guess back when I was entrenched in my Love Project, I put all of my other woahs aside. I focused on my goal and kept pressing on and now I just have way too much time on my hands for thinking and in this case, dwelling on something that bugs the heck out of me.

I won't get into the other stuff that is on my mind but suffice it to say that I feel like A to Z taught me so much in the world of patience that on the rare occasion when someone gets my goat I am in shock they were able to do it. Mostly it's Cassie who has this crowing achievement. In fact, her room is filled with goats but every now and then only those very close to me can get under my skin too. Usually I can keep in together pretty well but other times I just wish peeps wouldn't cross the line. Oh well, I'm dreaming.

By the way, the thing she did to actually make me crazy was come into my room with my shirt on and when I asked her what she was wearing she said, "what were you wearing yesterday when you came home" grrrrrr. I fully explained and by fully I mean loudly, that this was a new double standard I was about to enjoy since she owed me soooooooooooooo many clothes and since I never did that to her. She mentioned earlier today I was more like a roommate than a Mom and to that I say, I need a new roommate.

My new headshots.

2011-08-16T11:58:00.001-04:00

Here's the link. http://www.bradfordrognephoto.com/Proofs/August2011/NancyTelzerow/

Bradford did a wonderful job as always. I have a variety of facial expressions that go far beyond my last shoot. We switched up the hair which is nice for a whole new crop of shots. Haven't heard from my agent yet. Have had some feedback, not all good. I am happy with the results in terms of getting shots I need and that's all that matters.

Picture Day!

2011-08-15T12:28:00.002-04:00

Remember when you were little and it was picture day at school? You would get a pretty dress (if you were a girl or a cross dresser) and you'd practice your smile in the mirror (maybe I am the only one who did that) and off you'd go to make a memory. Inevitably the pictures would come back and you would be mid laugh or crooked smiled and the hair, OH the hair! You would think to yourself it looked way better when you styled it and Mom would ask, why didn't they run a comb through it and then you hid the pictures in the drawer because the last thing you wanted to do was pass them out. Well do you? Do you remember it? All of your grade school pictures, K-8 are dancing through your head right now, aren't they?

WELL, today is MY picture day with the incredible photographer, Bradford Rogne! The only thing is I'm assured that my hair will be great because he will be doing it and my makeup will be perfect because Bradford is a one stop shop. Then there are the images, well, times have changed so we can digitally check our progress while we have the session. No re-shoots here.

I'm so excited. I'm bringing about 15 outfits and Bradford is going to work his magic and voila, new actors headshots. I will post the link here and everywhere as soon as I have it. Yippee!

In California

2011-08-11T08:15:00.001-04:00

I know I don't write often but I figured I'd touch base when in la la land. Gosh, I love it here. Besides the fact that the industry I love is everywhere and touches nearly everyone, I love the traffic. I love the crazy amount of vegetarian choices on every corner. I love the inexpensive mani pedi salons. I love the organic produce! I love the mountains and so many of my very dear friends are here too. I have yet to come to Cali where I don't think this is where I belong. In so many ways, it's made for me.

So here I am, staying with my dear friends Kelly Sullivan Walden and Dana Walden, her hubby. They are so kind to let me sleep in their spare room. They live in a tree house so to speak. It's way up a hill and it's sooooooooo cool. I might take some pics and ask if I can post them. What an amazing experience. LA has so many incredible neighborhoods and places to live and of course I love that too.

While I'm here I'm going to catch up with many friends, go to Samuel French bookstore, take some workshops, and get new pics for work. I will try to write daily so I can remember this trip and share the coolness with you!

What to do

2011-08-03T09:19:00.001-04:00

Here I sit. It's first thing in the morning and I wonder the following:

Why won't Gary pay me the last 6000 he owes me?

Why is my space bar sticking but only when I press it on the right side?

What will I do today?

When I go to LA what workshops and classes will I take?

Why have I been so darn lazy lately?

Where did my motivation go?

I just read a post that said instead of trying to stop your thoughts, can you make one stay? Considering the above list of thoughts running through my head and the fifty I didn't even mention, I'm gonna go with no.

The beauty of A to Z was that I had a goal. It was clear, focused. There were deadlines. Peeps were depending on me not to fail. It was the kind of pressure that makes me get things done.

So here I sit desperately needing to do laundry, work out my class schedule for teaching at BW and figure out what I will do in LA. I sure hope I do something today but I've just been lazy. On one hand I could say that I ran around like a crazy woman for more than a year and a half and this is my break time but it feels like the train has come to a complete halt. Sheesh, I hope I can get that locomotive running again soon!

Relentless

2011-07-27T09:43:00.001-04:00

I STILL have not been paid my final amount from the client that I worked with just following A to Z. This means that they are overdue by 4 months on some of it and 2 months by the rest. The total amount due is just over $6000 now and most of it is my payment for the months of slaving and putting every effort in the world toward the end product. Unfortunately, I can't even console myself with finished TV spots that the client approved because they sat on it so long that none of what we shot was even viable in the end. This means that they also cannot look at the finished product and feel like it was well worth it. Does this justify them not paying me? Um, hell no. Like a wise man once told me, it doesn't matter whether or not you eat the pizza, if you order it, you pay. Well this client ordered the pizza. I spent many nights awake and worked my tail off and truly the end result could have been stellar but the client got in it's own way. Isn't that so true of us? We get in our own way more than anyone else.

Well, suffice it to say I'm ticked off and the next move will be talking to an attorney. It's a suck fest alright but I will be victorious because I cannot allow myself to be taken advantage of like that anymore!

On another note, I went to Seattle to the AFTRA convention and it was wonderful. I really do love getting out of Ohio almost any chance I can. My next trip is to LA, say it with me... Yippeeeeeeeeeeeee!

If anyone is still reading

2011-07-19T08:06:00.003-04:00

Hmm, well, here's one more thing I've learned from A to Z and there are many. People saw me do my project for one year. They watched me cast, produce, act and react all of the darn place. Obviously, the acting stuff was not new to me but the producing and various other aspects were things I had only dabbled in at most. The upshot of their watching me and the overall production is a bell went off in some heads. In some people's minds they started seeing me as a producer, a casting director, a production coordinator. They figured that if I could do all that with little resources, imagine what I could do with more. So I worked my tail off just to get more acting work but to date I have gotten offers for producing, casting, and behind the scenes work more than anything.

This has me both distraught and flattered. I'm glad they obviously felt I pulled it off to some extent or they wouldn't put that kind of faith in me to work on their projects but well, I don't have to tell you how I feel about it NOT leading to more acting work.

So, now I must take this new skill set and use it to bring me acting work. Hmm, I'm thinking again ... this could be dangerous.

More Lilith News

2011-06-30T07:09:00.001-04:00

Well, I guess the time has come and they are beginning the advertising for the film I was in last year. Here's a link to more information.

http://www.dreadcentral.com/news/45326/lilith-crawls-our-way

It was fun working on that film and I hope it's a breakthrough hit! I have a feeling I will be afraid to watch a lot of it because it's in the horror genre but nevertheless I will see it and be excited that I got the opportunity to work on it.

Meanwhile, back at the farm, my space bar is stickingon my new computer and I can't decide what to do about it and inother news I have a pieceof garlic onmy leg to attack aweird bump there. Do you see how annoying the space bar thing is now? Yikes!

Wrapping up is hard to do

2011-06-29T08:06:00.001-04:00

That's a new song title to the tune of Breaking Up is Hard to Do and believe me, I'm feeling both! I finally think my work with the client that came after A to Z is completely over. I need to fedex one CD and get my final check to the tune of 5800 and I can put this baby to rest. I'm not financially strapped in any way but I really want to put it behind me and not think about owing others money or being owed money. It has been a real burden. I also finished that week long project I did last week after adding numbers and counting a wad of cash about 25 times. Now I cannot wait to drop off the money and the props so I can put that behind me as well.

Next up I have a trip to Seattle for my union convention in July and a trip to LA in August where I am getting my new pics and where I plan to network, hike, take classes and spend a wonderful week doing acting stuff that I love. Two things I very much look forward to and have for some time. It's nice to see them in the near future. As for the immediate future, I'm attempting a breather where I do a lot of physical exercise and mental clean up. The stress of this past year has been grueling and it's time I chill, so I will. What will you do this summer? Catch some rays? I also look forward to basking in the sun. Ahh, I'm relaxing already.

BTW, sorry this post is so boring, nothing very exciting to report right now but I'm sure something else will pop up soon! I will let you know.

The New Math

2011-06-28T07:24:00.001-04:00

So I did this gig last week. I was on the production side of the camera, aka in hell. But I digress. Actually I don't really think crew work is so bad but it's just not for me. Disclaimers aside, once again, I was entrusted with the purse. I was given 1000 to buy materials for the shoot, some of which would be returned to the store. At least a few hundred were nonreturnable. Still, I was working everything out to the penny and doing very well until I did the Math last night.

I added all of the return receipts and the money received and the money came up short. I was extremely tired so maybe I counted wrong but it seemed pretty off. Now I must get up and do new Math. We'll call it the I only slept four hours cuz I was so worried Math and then get on with my day. I also may take a trip to my car where I could find that the money fell out of my purse or some hidden items or something!!! Oh well, we'll see. Wish me luck and easy calculating.

Catching Up

2011-06-24T12:32:00.002-04:00

For those of you who haven't heard from me lately, here's why. After A to Z wrapped, my next gig was Producing and starring in several radio and TV spots for Indiana Beach Amusement Park and Resort. Next up was a stint with Vitamix where I was not the talent but instead the on set stylist. I was in charge of making the background of the shot look beautiful. My duties were to buy any and all props necessary for food closeups and backgrounds of 20 recipes, not to mention fill all of the kitchen cupboards and decorate the counters so they tied into my theme. Then I have to return as much of those props that I possibly can ... 900 dollars worth! As if that wouldn't keep me busy, when I got to set I was asked to do the clapboard and I became a runner, literally. I ran up and down the halls of the Viking store delivering props, food and news to everyone else involved. Basically I was everyone's assistant, or at least that's what I stepped up to do. It just didn't seem possible that all would get done without a lot of hustle.

With that said, Producing the spots, and working crew is definitely NOT what I want for a career. It brought me money. I am appreciative of the trust and faith that people have in me as someone who is more than just a talent but once again I am ever so grateful that I love what I do and I will forge ahead to find more opportunities for me to be on camera and doing voice over. That's my love and so I will go for it. I hope you are blessed enough to know what you love to do and be able to do it.

In other news, I never did hear from Meryl Streep but I haven't been putting the effort towards that lately so maybe I just need some focus. I better get some binoculars because I want to zoom in on the future.

Fluke of All Flukes!!!!

2011-06-19T09:42:00.002-04:00

Remember last year when I was in that film, Lilith? Well, the director writes his own blog. He's an amazing person and an incredible writer. Today, I was on facebook and I stumbled onto the Lilith fan page. There's not much written on it as I'm quite sure the director, Sridhar, saves most of his writing for his blog and future creative projects. I saw that he recently updated the film release date so I clicked on the link. I've actually been anxious to know when the film would come out and here's what I found. He was writing about Me!!!! Below I copied and pasted what he said. I am so grateful that he wrote this and I'm marveling at the serendipitous way I discovered it. I love when that happens.

Here's what he said...

And speaking of promotions I’d be remiss if I didn’t promote a herculean endeavor by one of my Lilith collaborators, Nancy Telzerow. Nancy, the actress who plays Flora, the mother of Julia Voth’s character in Lilith, has for the past year created the ultimate homage to her acting muse, Meryl Streep. Inspired by the film Julie and Julia, wherein a young woman cooks and documents every recipe cooked from Julia Child’s legendary cookbook Mastering the Art of French Cooking, Nancy decided to create 24 vignettes of Meryl Streep’s best works. She’s called it A to Z with Meryl and Me, and she completed the series a few months ago.

Nancy creeping out as ‘Flora’ in ‘Lilith.’ This is dedication, and I can personally attest to Nancy’s drive and focus, as she delivered such an amazing and creepily nuanced performance for me in Lilith. Nancy’s one of our finest actors, and with Lilith I’m hoping a wider audience can bask in her talents. In the meantime, you can see Nancy’s A to Z with Meryl and Me on her YouTube channel here.
And if any of my readers knows a way to get a hold of Meryl Streep, please forward Nancy’s work on to her! :)
Have a great weekend!

Does this make you happy?

2011-06-10T22:22:00.001-04:00

I finally got some closure on my post A to Z production gig that had me in a whirlwind of worry and despair. I received a big fat check that allowed me to pay the employees who were so helpful and contributed so generously and professionally to the commercials that we created. The good news is I learned a lot. The not so good news is I'm not sure how much of the stuff we shot will actually be used. What does that mean? Well, we worked like dogs. I froze my tookus off. Sleepless nights. Countless hours. Um, I'm sure it means more or perhaps it means nothing at all. Yes, I did learn a ton. I may have learned way more than I wanted. I mean did I really need yet another confirmation that I only want to act for a living? I guess I did or it wouldn't have happened.

Being a Producer has it's creative perks if you're actually permitted to be creative. It is much like what I had to do with A to Z except a bunch of other people depended on me instead of just one or two at a time, it was a team of 10 others who all needed to be paid, heard, appreciated and in some cases fired. I did say fired ... oh my, yes but not because I was unhappy with their performance but instead because the client requested it. That is SO NOT my style to say the least.

Being the talent while being the producer on this gig was a bit of a challenge. There was actually one point during the shoot where as a talent I would never say a word but as a producer who knew exactly what the talent was going through that I had to call it, meaning say it was a wrap even though we had not captured what we needed. Here was the scenario. We were trying to create a summer look so I was wearing a golf shirt and jeans with my hair in a pony tail. I was in a field with a sign far in the distance. We were definitely looking for green in 42 degree weather at the end of April. So it wasn't summer at all and in fact felt like a winter day to my bare arms. I was literally shaking and my teeth were chattering. It was not fun. I kept thinking it couldn't have looked good but oddly enough it didn't look as though I was cold at all, on camera. Not sure how I did that but I still had NO desire to use that footage and I really didn't think the background looked like summer. In summer when there's a warm breeze, there's no bracing one's self for the next one wind but I couldn't have been more clenched. Oh my it was so cold and I'm a freeze baby. So now you know two things about me. I need my sleep and I freeze like I've lived on the equator my entire life. My only saving grace was the fact that I was the producer and I didn't like what was being captured plus I had the personal inside scoop that our talent was suffering. It was completely wonderful to be able to say it's a done deal without being considered a talent who couldn't cut it.

Fast forward to post production where the difficulties getting paid made me literally sick and robbed me of more than a few nights rest. This was also the point at which I had to fire a few of my favorite team members or at least I had to have them stop post production work on the spots. Now the footage is all with another party, recommended by the client but hired by me and I think I've been edged out of the picture too. I guess I also had to fire me. YIKES. Is this crazy or what? Not exactly what I wanted to do after my Love Project but nevertheless it's what I did.

Tonight I'm doing the last piece of business for the client and then I have one more check that is due me. I sure do hope they pay this one more quickly. I do plan to email the person in charge of money more frequently to get that taken care of ... wish me luck, oh boy do I need it!!!!

Oscillation

2011-05-30T09:21:00.001-04:00

I don't visit this blog often. I write a lot less. I feel very far from my A to Z Love Project and I can't say I love that fact, but my focus has been elsewhere. I wish I could say my new focus brought me a great deal of joy and a bright future but I cannot say that either. It brought me a paycheck and a ton of stress.

My goals will have to be reassessed and I'll have to get myself out of the funk that was created by taking myself off a path that I really felt was going somewhere.

Having said that, I hate weekends. Did I ever mention that? My perception is that weekends are fun, family time for most people. This is when people let their hair down, relax, have a cocktail, attend parties. This is not what my weekends are about. I do get invited to do those things but I don't always want to go. I guess I'm one of those who are cursed or blessed depending on how you see it, I would much rather be working. It's not that I don't like parties or spending time with people I love because I do love those things but it is that I want to do my work. I want to keep it moving as they say and weekends bring me to a grinding halt. I find myself not making business calls out of respect to others who still use weekends as their celebration time and I find myself just waiting for it to end. I'm quite sure that if I worked a job that I hate I would be like everyone else and relish the weekends but that's just not me.

I have noticed a lot lately that my site traffic has many visitors from other countries. I'm becoming the Jerry Lewis of websites or blogs, only it's not just France that likes me but crazy far out places I've never been like Sri Lanka, Portugal, The Czech Republic etc. The list goes on and according to my site meter the numbers are pretty good every day. In fact I'm getting more traffic now than when I was writing this blog regularly and really pushing people to go to it. Go figure. Bottom line, that and a quarter gets me a gumball. The only way that will have significance is if I get a call from someone in one of those countries and they want me to star in their film. Then the research to find out if it's a hoax or not will be my only issue. Hmm, we shall see.

back and forth

2011-05-27T12:50:00.001-04:00

I've been going back and forth on the idea of wrapping up this blog and calling it a day and the opposite, keeping it open just in case something amazing happens as the result of A to Z with Meryl and Me. Being a Libra I can argue both sides quite well. On one hand, A to Z is over, the Z thanks were written, all 26 scenes are still alive and well on my youtube channel. While conversely (that's for you Jay), the marketing for A to Z hasn't even begun. The upshot of me doing all of those scenes and producing them for one solid year was me getting the Indiana Beach gig. There are many stories that go with that "production" and I do feel more will come from A to Z, that I very well may want to share with you all. Hmm ... I guess when it's time to quit I'll know that for sure. Today is not that day.

So what's been going on with my latest gig you ask? Well, more than I'd like to report and for legal reasons I'm going to keep this vague. Let's just say that there have been a ton of mishaps ... I have taken responsibility for ALL of them and I was not the person who caused ANY of them. Sounds wrong or impossible, doesn't it? Well, it's not. I just have realized this whole time that defending what was right was less important than forging ahead. Needing to feel everything was just and fair was my own issue and so I let go of that and without pointing a single finger at anyone, I took it on the chin. That's what a producer does, isn't it? Gosh, if that's not what a producer does I sure wish someone would have said something! Could have used that heads up!!!!

Next up, we will wrap up the financial obligations from IB and I think I should be able to resume a normal life which I haven't actually had since before February 14, 2010. What is normal anyway? Oh and one more thing, I gave up chocolate. Yes, in unrelated news, it's very imperative that you know I am no longer consuming chocolate. I gave it a try after not having it for more than 6 years but found that it was making me kinda sick. Sooooooooo, I'm going to cut back on all sweets and get back on the healthy train. The IB gig made me a bit nervous and I ended up getting vertigo. I really think the spinning has mostly come to a stop but there are days when the room is still going round and round. Now that's NOT normal!!!!! So onto the healthier and happier me ... no stress no stress no stress ... yes, that's the plan.

Final thanks for the final scene

2011-05-21T10:30:00.002-04:00

Julie and Julia was not a movie that was pulled out of the folded pieces of paper that I had strewn about on my couch. Nope, when I shook those tiny white strips never did I open one up to see that movie. However, it was my first inspiration to do A to Z with Meryl and Me so when I was struggling to figure out if I should do Music of the Heart, or French Lieutenant's Woman or House of Spirits or one of the other original movies that were drawn, it hit me like a brick. I should absolutely do Julie and Julia as my final scene even though I make a horrid Julia Child. I am physically about as opposite her as possible or close to it. In terms of age, appearance, sound, and about a thousand other things, NEVER would I be cast to play Julia Child. It might have been the craziest stretch of all and to be honest I'm not sure very many people actually enjoyed my performance. Still, when it occurred to me to do a scene and then I decided to do a short, celebratory moment, I just felt it was the perfect choice for my final installment of my love project. Once again, there were many to thank and truly if I were being honest I'd take the time to really talk about every single contributor to this project and it would blow your mind to see how many people were there for me. I will spare you that long list ... for now and just say thanks to the Z scene contributors.

Beau Roberts was referred to me by Andrew Gardner and Jennifer Enskat. They have had the pleasure of working with him and knew he was a creative person who could appreciate a project like mine. I first heard of Beau when Jen posted his short film on facebook, "The Man Who Knew Everything". I was most impressed with the concept. Beau played the lead and wrote the script. I loved so much about it and obviously I'm not the only one who feels that way. It recently received a Golden Ace Award at the Las Vegas film festival! Beau was there for me in a pinch to do this final scene and it proved to be the perfect choice. Beau was able to provide me with insights, expertise and the utmost professionalism. I loved working with him. To learn more about Beau and find out how to contact him, go to his website at http://www.BeaunanzaMotionPictures.com. Also, as if I didn't feel blessed enough to work with Beau he gave me the greatest compliment stating that my project actually inspired him to do one of his own. To learn all about his "That Time of the Year" project go to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGU-WCAn5Qs. I cannot wait to be a part of it.

Marc Jaffe played the role of Paul Child. Marc is the voice of those Subway commercials that you hear so often on the radio. In fact, he's made quite a living using his voice over talents and is a hilarious writer. He wrote for Seinfeld years ago and is the author of the books, "Sleeping with your Gynecologist, A Tale of My Life Marriage to an OB/GYN" and "Goo Goo Gaa Gaa, The Baby Talk Dictionary and Phrasebook". I was so pleased to pull Marc out from behind the Microphone and away from the writing desk and put him on camera. He did an absolutely wonderful job. He also offered his lovely home and somehow miraculously got a full house to be quiet in between takes. What a trooper! Actually, they all were and I so appreciate their gracious hospitality. Recently, Marc co-wrote a play called, "Side Affects May Include". It's a roller-coaster ride through an escalating mountain of pills, fidelity, secrets, questions of manhood and womanhood, age, desire, more pills, on-stage and bedroom performance anxiety, still yet more pills, and ultimately, an exploration of whether our deepest personalities and desires are anything more than chemical reactions within our brains. that deals with being married to someone with Parkinson's Disease. Marc was extremely generous and supportive of me in my project but that doesn't begin to come close to the level of support he has provided for all those suffering with Parkinson's Disease. Take a look at this, http://video.foxnews.com/v/4636815/ultimate-show-of-support. He is also an inventor of sorts. Go to http://elijahdrinks.com/ to learn more about the cup that he created that is all the rage in the Jewish community. To contact Marc for work, call 216-570-4080. You will be happy you did.

Camera Equipment was provided by DRM Productions, Inc. Beau was my connection to this production company. I truly appreciate their contribution to my project. They are North Central Ohio's only full service electronic media and print design firm. To learn more about DRM go to http://www.drminc.com/index.html.

Location provided by The Jaffes. As I stated earlier, they were so cooperative. We couldn't have asked for a nicer day, location and environment. Thanks Jaffes!

Tech Support was provided by Terri Negron. Terri I must reveal, is my sister. Yes, I've waited this long to tell you because I never wanted you to think all of my accolades had anything to do with family. It was not a bias on my part. She came to my rescue more than once in the most professional way that goes beyond a blood connection. I'm proud to call her my sister but I wanted you to know first that she rocks whether or not you are actually related to her. To hire Terri, email her at terri@fengshui5.com. She's amazing and I love her so.

Special thanks go to:

Jean Zarzour for the necklace. Julia always wore pearls and I'm not a pearl lover so Jean left me stranded in a good way.

The Reel Thing was like a second office to me throughout this entire project. Thank you to Jimmy Silver ... very much.

Tony Nicholas was the man with the plan. He came up with the idea to make A to Z bigger than I ever imagined way back in January 2010. He also consulted with me for this final scene helping me make some tough decisions that ultimately made it all come off without a hitch. So once, again, Mr. Nicholas swept in with brilliant advice.

Jennifer Enskat and Andrew Gardner were there for me when we did the J scene and the O scene and the R scene and this time although Andy had too much work to come to Cleveland yet again to shoot for me, he and Jen recommended Beau. What an awesome thing. Some people can come to your assistance no matter how far away they are.

Well this isn't my final post but soon it will be. Of course since today is our last day on earth and there's a rapture at 6:00 PM, maybe it is my last post. Either way, thank you for reading and watching and it's never too late to send my channel link around to your friends. http://www.youtube.com/nancytelzerow

Been thinking A LOT

2011-05-16T10:34:00.001-04:00

Some things have happened lately that has my mind scurrying about to make sense of it all. What a useless waste of time but nevertheless here they are ...

1. I completed A to Z only to find myself feeling very sad that more didn't happen during the year. I then jumped head first into a huge ad campaign that took my mind off of A to Z but had me feeling less than fulfilled. I now am almost at the completion of that project and find myself thinking of the actual marketing of A to Z which has me totally overwhelmed.

2. A to Z taught me a lot about myself and others or at least my perception of others. There were those who supported me out of the blue, so unexpectedly. There were those who seemed to do nothing but criticize. There will still others who were completely silent leaving me to fill in the blanks and jump to some horrible conclusions that cannot possibly be all true. What matters most is not what anyone else thinks of the A to Z journey ... it's all what I think.

3. My family relationships have gone down the toilet. I have siblings mad at me and I'm quite sure they would completely disown me if it weren't for the whole "I have to love you because you're family" thing. My daughter is back living with me which is a blessing and a challenge.

4. Then today I read this on facebook. It was written by a very blissful man. He's a health and metaphysical guru for many but what I continue to go back to is it appears that he has nothing but success in his life. His attitude of gratitude really works for him and we all could take a page from that book. He wrote,

Despite what you may or may not believe - what if you actually chose your parents? And in doing so, the one thing you wish (or wished) you could change about them is the very thing you're here to change about yourself, are you up to the task?

Well this got me thinking for sure. It's so easy to criticize our parents or our co-workers or our neighbors but what if no matter who it is we think needs to learn our lessons, the lessons that we think they need to learn are actually our OWN. What if the thing that bothers us most about others is the thing we are most likely to do to others. What if the person we're trying to fix is the one in the mirror. Hmm.

Well, that's enough out of me. I have to finish doctoring up my final thank you's for the Z scene and then wrap up this bloggadoodle. Please feel free to comment or take this to heart or even think I'm talking to you. I'm really just talking to me but who doesn't need to hear it, right?

Wow, it's been nearly a week

2011-05-07T12:17:00.000-04:00

I had no idea it had been this long since I blogged which shows how crazy busy I have been lately. Above is a blooper from one of my previous shoots for a theme park called Indiana Beach which opens today! This was one of our first takes where the bird runs into me and I couldn't quite get through it without laughing.

Unfortunately, there hasn't been too much laughing since the shoot for many many many reasons that I cannot name. The only thing I can say is I'm fine. I'm cool and collected. The thing is, I can only do my very best. If my best isn't good enough for a situation, I really don't mind because I know that's all I could do. Then it's no longer my problem ... which is a good thing!

Working my way through the dizzy

2011-05-01T21:39:00.002-04:00

So, here I am blogging on Sunday night but I wanted to only blog when I could have some good news. I'm far less dizzy. I'm setting goals for the week and they include me not being dizzy at all so I hope I achieve them.

1. I want to wrap up this blog with the Z thanks and an overall reflection of A to Z with Meryl and Me.
2. I want to wrap up the TV commercials post production which is dependent on me and my team.
3. I have about a thousand personal chores that I've been neglecting including laundry, and returns to the store.

I was about to write do something pampering for myself but I think just staring at the wall after I write all of my team their checks for a job well done, will be pampering enough. I'm sure there's much more I need to do but this must be my focus and then I will get back to the rest of my life. Hmm, wish me luck!

It's still here ... spinning all around

2011-04-30T09:17:00.000-04:00

Well, this has been quite the turn of events and I do mean turn. Did you know that if you have the smallest of boo boo's on your knee, if you look online to do some research you can find out your dying? Well, more accurately, it's like those medicine commercials that have to cover their butts so they say side effects may include ... the list is long, varied and scary as all get out. Well, vertigo is apparently just a symptom of a greater disease. That's some real crap! I will not be entertaining any of those frightening prognoses. Instead, I'm going to take better care of myself. I've been remiss in doing that a lot lately. I haven't been staying hydrated. I have not been exercising and I have severely increased my stress levels. So, it's up to me to turn it all around and then perhaps my head will stop the crazy turning.

Vertigo be Vertigone

2011-04-29T09:04:00.001-04:00

I've been working non stop. Oh wait, I have had lunch and slept at night but other than that ... constant working. If I'm not with Devon editing or talking with Bob about work solutions, I'm with Tony figuring out the music for the TV spots or emailing the client to get more information. It's all I do. Well, I'm not sure if it's because I froze my butt off during the two day shoot or because my brain isn't used to this level of concentration but I have a full blown case of vertigo. Yesterday it was somewhat mild although it did cause me to fall when I stood up in the morning but today, I had to crawl to the bathroom. It is like I was on the merry go round for about an hour and the entire room is spinning that fast. Doesn't make me nauseous but it is hurting with the walking thing.

I did some online research and dehydration is not helping me. When I was shooting outdoors I did not stay hydrated at all and really haven't done much about it since. It was so freezing that I knew the water would immediately make me have to pee or make me even colder. My body is not used to me denying it water so that was a bad start and when I got home I began drinking water to catch up but I think I got swept into the whole work til I drop thing and so that's what I'm doing ... dropping! I'm quite sure if I drank a bunch of water, things would improve. Now I'm going to blink my eyes like I dream of Jeannie and see if it appears on since I am typing this while flat on my back and am not prepared to stand up. Have a stable, non dizzy day my blog friends!

And I thought A to Z was taxing!

2011-04-28T06:59:00.001-04:00

I've been back from Indiana since last Saturday. Other than my marathon sleep on Saturday and a small friendly gathering on Sunday, I have been living, breathing, and completely focused on the TV spots. In post there is so much to do. You would think a 30 second or 60 second spot would edit together way faster than a scene like the one from Evening. That's not the case though. In A to Z, I limited editing to one day and we knocked it out. We didn't have to create music, we grabbed it off the internet. We often had very few takes from which to choose the cuts. We also had a deadline that loomed so we did our best and moved on ... it was ongoing after all. In this case, it's perfection I seek. I do not want to present commercials that are lacking in any way to my client. We were up against it because we were to showcase a bunch of new attractions in the park but none of them were ready so the spots had to be promoting the idea of "we're getting ready for you" while still keeping it interesting, funny, intriguing. Hmm, still working on that part.

We have a rough edit of 2 of them and the music done for one. I have either been in an edit or with the composer working on the music for most of the minutes on Monday and Tuesday. It's starting to take shape but we have more to do. It will all get done and like the radio spots that are already on air, these TV spots will be too. Can't wait.

I think after that, I might have to work on the marketing of A to Z. I just might take a small break first though.

Oh the Turmoil

2011-04-26T07:30:00.001-04:00

Well, I'm in post. What does that mean for you non industry peeps? It means we shot a bunch of footage and we're now working on the edit, music, additional effects. I'm happy about the look of what we captured. I'm a bit concerned about some of the delivery. One of the commercials has a funny pay off and what makes it funny is how casual I'm supposed to say it but I was directed to be perky with it and now I fear the joke is killed. UH OH. Well, today we'll look at earlier takes and see if we can fix it up. Oh the worries.

Plus my family seems to be in a shambles. I had to miss Easter due to the shoot and all of the exhaustion that went with it. I think most of my sisters are mad at me now and I can only hope that they would understand why after not sleeping for 3 days, driving for 6+ hours and just needing some chill time, why I couldn't make it. Only time will tell.

OK, better get back to work now. See! Sometimes I actually have work to do too!

Easter and other items

2011-04-24T23:02:00.002-04:00

Today is Easter. What have I been doing to prepare for it? Not a darn thing. I got back from Indiana and a very hectic work schedule yesterday and took a 3 hour nap almost immediately then went to bed for a grand total of 15 hours of sleep. I was so exhausted from the shoots and the pressure I placed upon myself to get everything right. Next up, we will do the edits for the commercials and I can officially say I am in commercials on both radio and TV that were produced by me and my team. That sure will feel good.

Normally I'm with my family on Easter but our family celebration was last night when I was in my coma and although I did get home in time that I could have driven to Columbus I'm not sure how smart that would have been. I probably would have fallen asleep at the wheel. Today I woke up because Cassie called me from a friend's house and it was 10 am. Who knows how long I would have slept. I went to pick her up and we bought matching dresses to wear to my friend Neil's house and really enjoyed seeing his family and friends. It was nice to relax with no worries. Cassie even had fun ... that is rare when she hangs with adults but for whatever reason it all went smoothly. Now I'm going to sleep again and then I get to edit.

I hope your day was a blessed one whether you celebrate Easter or not. Night night.

3 TV spots and a sleepy feeling

2011-04-23T15:19:00.004-04:00

Well, after what felt like an eternity, we got to shoot the spots in Indiana. Funny thing though, once they were over it seemed like it only took a minute to turn it all around. Time ... it's an odd thing. I wish I could tell you every moment of these shoots but I can't. I will say this though, my crew and all the support peeps were awesome! They kept it flowing and didn't stop for a second, doing their absolute best and creating what I know will be a very professional and entertaining product. 3 spots in 2 days ... that's really incredible.

I can't wait to get into the edit to see the footage. There were so many scenes that were hilarious that it's going to be amazing. I"m thrilled that we finished it and I can now say I've produced a handful of radio and TV spots. Kinda cool.

As for my mood, I'm worn the heck out. The weather was awful and much of the shooting was outdoors with minimal clothing so I froze my tookus off. Well, to be honest, it's still there ... my tookus but coming home to the sun was more than great it was necessary. I hope I can stay awake long enough to enjoy the vitamin D but just in case, I'm in a very comfy chair on my balcony so if I do doze off, I won't miss it.

Thanks to my crew of 8. You were awesome! Bob, Devon, Karen, Hob, Ron, Andrew and Cassie Lynne. I couldn't have pulled this off without you!

Special Thanks for the Y scene!

2011-04-20T08:28:00.001-04:00

Doing a scene from The Bridges of Madison County was something I attempted about 4 times before it actually came to fruition and I cannot say how glad I am that it all happened when it did. I love that it was one of the last scenes shown and I think it was the perfect complement to the Z scene. Let's suffice it to say this this Italian girl was thrilled to play one of my all time favorite roles of Meryl Streep. There were a lot of very generous and talented people who helped me with this scene.

Adam White was the Director of Photography for the I scene aka Ironweed. Chuck Chubbuck brought him into the A to Z fold and I couldn't have felt more fortunate. Having already worked with him I was thrilled when he said he could shoot Bridges. He had a very clear idea of how he wanted to shoot it and did it in no time. His confidence with capturing what he needed for a complete scene blew me away. He was absolutely right though. He managed to bring out what was perfect for the scene in minimal takes. Adam's credits include 4 emmy's for his documentary work. He got his degree in Motion Picture Production and Cinematography. While he wears many on set hats, lately he's concentrated his efforts on the roles of Producer/ Director/ Cinematographer with a specialty in SteadiCam. Adam is also a licensed pilot. This guy can't be stopped! Visit his many websites and learn more about him, http://www.hemlockfilms.com, http://www.adamwhiteimages.com and http://www.flightcinema.com. To hire Adam, email him at hemlockfilms@aol.com

Chuck Kartali brilliantly played the role of Robert Kincaid. Filling Clint Eastwood's shoes is not an easy task but Chuck sure made it look that way. I met him working at the Ensemble Theater and I have been fortunate enough to act in a few plays with Chuck. I knew he was incredible on stage but the on camera thing ... well, his talent is limitless. Chuck is preparing to direct a staged reading at the Play House of the Dorothy Silver Playwriting Competition 2011 winner, Eyes Forward by Philip Gerson, which will be presented April 21. He will also appear in a staged reading for CPH on April 23 of Three Voyages of the Lobotomobile by George Brant. In June, he will once again participate as a guest artist at WordBRIDGE Playwrights Laboratory in Baltimore, MD. In August he begins rehearsals for Galileo by Bertolt Brecht at the Allen Theatre. Do yourself a favor and catch him in one of these performances. He never disappoints and be on the look out for him on stage at all times, he's always memorable. To contact Chuck for work call The Docherty Agency at 216-522-1300.

Mike Salemi was the editor for this scene. I've worked with him before but had never really met him so this was a treat. This means he edited things in which I performed therefore he saw a whole lot of me and I didn't see him at all. Well, I was thrilled to have that not be the case for the Y scene. Chuck Chubbuck also brought Mike to the table for me in this last minute oh no moment of who's going to edit this scene I've been trying to do for so long! Mike fit me into a very tight schedule and was so wonderful, they should invent a new word for accommodating. It would have Mike's picture by it! He has his own production company and can be found on many sets working as a cinematographer or editing it all together to make magic. Visit his website for a brief overview of his work http://telstarproductions.com/index.htm. I cannot tell you just how easy going he is and what an absolute honor it was to work with Mike. Email him at telstar3@aol.com. You will love working with him!

Donna Williams was the production assistant and she did the job of 5 people! Donna is no stranger to all kinds of sets. Her background is in both performance and crew and she does it well. Behind the scenes she has worked as a Production Designer, Set Dresser, Production Assistant, Script Supervisor, Special Effects Tech/ Lab Tech, Camera Operator and Grip. Is that versatile or what? To hire her and learn more about her overall talents go to http://www.DonnaWilliams.us.com.

Woodie Anderson provided the perfect location once again and was the still photographer. Very often events will happen and Woodie will be there, camera in hand. His pictures are always wonderful. He offered this location and was there to help with anything we needed. Offering your home to a crew for a shoot is such a generous thing to do and that is a word that embodies Woodie to the Tee. He was the one who provided his light kit for the entire year of A to Z. He was the one who provided a location for the T scene, aka Heartburn. He has been in my corner, rooting for me all along. I'm so grateful for Woodie. Woodie acts on stage, on camera and is both a magician and the owner and co creator of a show called Bonk! To hire Woodie, email him at woodieand@aol.com.

Terri Negron was my Tech Support. I've told you so much about her in every thanks. I cannot say enough about the support she gave me and continues to give me every single day. Her website is http://www.fengshui5.com and her email is terri@fengshui5.com. She can design your website or your business materials or tell you how to properly feng shui your home. For my project she did all of that plus she provided all of the design work for every business card, flyer, online ad and anything else I could conger in my creative mind, with absolute style. She is a dream to work with and I hope you take advantage of her very personal and attentive style.

Special Thanks:
The Reel Thing
Chuck Chubbuck
Karen Laskodi

You all made this scene one of my favorites. Thank you so much for bringing this Italian dream to life!

wow... holy headache batman!

2011-04-17T13:57:00.002-04:00

I have been absent here lately. Reason is I'm completely swamped with the new producing gig. Things are changing daily and I'm just trying to make it all work. I have a staff of 10 total and I have to say I don't prefer to be the boss. I like being a member of a team and that's what I'm used to but having to question why people don't do what they're asked to do or where they're getting their math or having to say no in general is what I'm in the position to do so I shall.

I am still gathering the info for the Y thanks and then once I write that and the Z, that will be the end of my blog for now. Not until I have a very big career change, will I need to write daily again. Wow, read that last sentence. Do I need a break or what?

No break this week though. I travel to Indiana this Wednesday for a shoot that will be Thursday, Friday and part of Saturday. Then we drive home for 5 hours and do the drop offs of the crew and the rental car. At that point, I think I may opt to sleep through Easter Sunday and come back fresh on Monday. I then have to get the music and edit all together and be ready to deliver the final product by the 27th. Sound doable? Not to me either. Wish me luck. This could explain the headache I have right now. Oh and Cassie will be with me for the shoots so she'll be on set assisting. I keep forcing her into this business whether she wants to or not ... I really want her to have her own thing but until she does ... lights, camera, Cassie!

stress mess

2011-04-14T07:26:00.001-04:00

I keep saying those thanks for the Y scene will be up and running and they are not ... please stick with me. They will be.

I'm in a heap right now. So many things hanging over my head. I have to make travel plans for an unknown number of people to do a shoot in a place where we haven't scouted and everyone is just a bit confused about how we're going to make this happen. I originally wanted to shoot it all here so I'm way out of my comfort zone. Gotta fix that.

My Mom's business needs a sales person. I began helping her with that but I've been absolutely swamped with getting this production stuff just right and so I've not done much more than writing and trying to find a replacement for me with no luck.

Casse's purse was stolen so we had to get the locks changed and replace her ID and I've been helping her look for a job. She got a tiny offer to do some dog walking but it would have me bringing her to Cleveland Heights about 3 days a week. That's a commitment that I'm very hesitant to make.

Uh oh ... tummy hurts.

Have checks and not afraid to cash 'em

2011-04-12T08:30:00.001-04:00

OK, that might not be all together true. I have a budget for the advertising campaign I'm working on and I have to take about 1000 variables and make them all work within it. Comfort zone? Nah. Exciting? Um, not even sure. Will I do it anyway? Yep.

As I look through my blog and remember my own writing, I do tend to do the three questions thing and answer them my darn self. I guess it's my way of saying I think the same stuff you do. This week has been a crazy one and they will continue to be. I might have to write my own thanks for the Y scene and call it a day. I sure do want peeps to have accurate info in my blog. Yikes. We'll see. BTW, I do realize this paragraph is stream of consciousness, just be grateful that I only mentioned these few items. You're welcome.

Y and Z I haven't forgotten Thee

2011-04-11T07:50:00.001-04:00

OK, I promise to get just that corny if I don't receive the info from my peeps involved in the Y scene. I really want to tell all about there contributions, talent and of course contact info but I haven't heard back from them just yet. So yikes, onward and just know that I'm not going to forget to keep up my end of the bargain.

Tonight we have a big pre-production meeting for my new advertising adventure. I hope to get lots of plans in order. Don't want to say more because it's not my deal per se, as you know if it is .. I do go on and on.

Speaking of going on and on, I did another interview on the Wake up and Live show and you can see it here:

Making Plans

2011-04-08T08:40:00.001-04:00

Today I am all planny mcplannerson. There are so many things to prepare for that of all times, now is the best time to be way organized. The first half of my big project for the amusement park is complete and the client is thrilled. WHEW! The second half is underway. We are having a pre-production meeting and my scope for leading an army continues to grow. Back in the A to Z days I was in charge but the goal was to give people as much freedom as possible to creatively express themselves. Now, however, I'm "the boss" and that's in quotes because I'm kind of a pushover. I have a hard time saying I need this now or this is when the meeting will be. I can't even put those two phrases in quotes because I'm quite sure I haven't said those things at all. The best I can say is after we wrote the radio spots, Joe the writer asked, "when do you need the TV?" I said, "immediately" and then I ran out of his house. What a wimp. He was sure to follow me out the door and call me a jerk ... lol. Oh well, I'll learn.

I can honestly say that now I've produced the entire A to Z love project plus 4 radio commercials. Very soon I will be able to add two TV commercials to that list and although I'm not looking to start a new career, I do appreciate the hard work involved in producing. I've always respected my directors and producers but never quite knew exactly what their jobs entailed. I have that insight now and I appreciate all they do.

OK, I better get my buns in gear. I have much to do. My Mama needs a new employee to help with her business and I'm way too swamped to be that employee but I want to help her find someone. Have a great day!

Will be very soon

2011-04-07T09:47:00.003-04:00

Posting the thanks for The Bridges of Madison County. Meanwhile, I'm in lake county just trying to finish up the pre-production for the IB TV spots! Woo hoo! Things are moving along!

Cassie's sick and I'm tired

2011-04-04T12:06:00.001-04:00

Together we're sick and tired. I will do three radio spots today and then be in post production. My hope is that all of the radio for this huge campaign will be wrapped by Wednesday. Then we move on to the TV spots. It's a different world ... producing ... and it gives me a great respect for all that producers do.

OK, I must run so I can get to work. Tomorrow or the next day I will post the thank yous for Bridges of Madison County aka the Y scene. I wonder if Meryl Streep has caught wind of this yet.

Nearing the End

2011-04-03T09:02:00.002-04:00

I am full swing ahead in the new ad campaign where I'm the talent and I'm also producing. This means that after my thanks for the Y and Z go up, I will have to stop the daily blogging and only check in every once in a while when there is actual A to Z stuff to report. So if you've been tracking my whereabouts through my blog, I guess you won't know what the heck I'm doing. I really hope to be back on soon to report more than just the thanks but the new progress on my on camera adventures. Wish me luck!

Sporatic posts

2011-04-01T08:02:00.002-04:00

OK, so I will definitely thank all who helped me in the Y and Z scenes but for now, Terri, my wonder web designer is at a race with her hubby so I will hold off until she can wave her magic wand and make all of the high points live links.

With that said, I'm soooooooooo busy lately. I'm neck deep in my new endeavor with my client. It's going pretty well and I hope to be able to share some of what we create, soon.

Today I have a lunch with the Marketing guy where I'm going to ask a lot of questions about A to Z and the next steps to promote the work we've done. After that I have a music meeting for my client and then who knows ... I have lots to do. Just wish I could remember it all. I probably need to bring my computer everywhere I go, just in case.

So, on this first day of April, what foolish thing will you be doing? I'm going to stay out of trouble and hope to hear from my sisters today. Yes, that would be good.

Later that day

2011-03-30T21:15:00.001-04:00

It's Wednesday and I'm not quite sure if the week is speeding by or will never end. Today we went to the studio to record two radio spots for my new gig! With some very hard work by Jimmy Silver and Joe Miller, the spot will turn out great. My goal was to have a spot that had some humor, showed off a fun character that people might want to see more of and definitely it was most important to get the message of the client across loud and clear. I think we did all of that. Whew! Now we have to do a few more mini spots on Monday and it's on to the TV pre-production. Should be a lot of fun. Can't wait to bring this character to life on camera.

A to Z feels like a distant memory at this point but I will get back to the marketing of it very soon. I will be planning a trip to LA around my IB schedule and it cannot come soon enough. I think in light of the snowfall late in March, here in the Cleve, I'm ready for some west coast weather.

I have more to do, much more but I can't write about it at this time. Stick with me until I get those last two thanks written, k? I appreciate it!

Game on!

2011-03-29T14:19:00.001-04:00

Well, lately I'm a little like a taffy pull. I got this one wanting me to produce some commercials. Another one wants me to do some rewrites for their new product line, business document or you name it. Yet another wants me to sell for them.

We all know what I WANT to do, right? Say it with me. Sleep. Oh wait, the other thing I want to do ... ACT. So, I need to plan my trip to LA for my new pics and I need to line up some good meetings while I'm there. Sheesh, that's a bit daunting but I'll figure it out.

On another front, my package arrived and I can begin hitting the ground running! Thank goodness!

Today's the day?

2011-03-28T09:16:00.002-04:00

I'm supposed to receive the package today. This will mean a flurry of events that has my writer in high gear, the client approval flowing my way and a great visit to the studio. It feels like a long time coming but I'll be happy to get at it once and for all. Actually more than once but definitely for all.

I went to the Cleveland International Film Festival this weekend. I saw the Ohio shorts. Wow, very interesting. Some made me laugh. Some made me cry. A couple made me wonder why or what they were thinking. I was glad I went and hope to get to see more soon. It's complete chaos there but worth the weeding through the crowds to see the films. It's also a great place to network if you're not running to your next place.

I was also part of a table read for a screenplay that I will probably not be in because they need a star for the one female role and all of the other parts are for Irish women. I can do a little irish brogue but I don't really look Irish per se. Remember me trying to look like Molly for Marvin's Room? Yes, that was a stretch!

Speaking of stretch, we're coming around to the home stretch. I must write my thanks for the Y and Z scenes and call it a day. Not sure what I'd blog about since the marketing has yet to begin and I'm all tied up with other responsibilities for now. Should I continue to write? Is anyone reading besides a few from my family? Hmm. Not sure.

Woah, lots to do

2011-03-25T09:43:00.002-04:00

Today I'm going to Ashtabula to help with the family business and visit the Mama.

Last night I recorded another show with Sue Johnson in the Wake Up and Live series that she produces for cable TV. It was fun.

This weekend is the film festival.

I am really feeling list-y today. I can only think of what I need to do, how much time I have to do it and figure out what I need to prioritize. Sad thing is, I'm missing a bunch of stuff on this list and I can't remember what it is. I better run now so I can do the Ashtabula thing early and get back to work here.

Gonna go have fun with Mama!

Cassie and TV

2011-03-24T09:47:00.001-04:00

Last night I saw Cassie for the first time since January. I hugged her and kissed her like a kid with a puppy. She just asked me why she has more cellulite than she used to ... and the questions begin. Later it will be a query about how many times today she pooped. Yes, these are the issues I field all day long when Cassie is around. I will not type what she just said now but um, gross. Anyway ... moving right along.

Today I will be going on the cable show that Jimmy and I went on a while back. Do you remember the whole qi gong fiasco? It should be interesting. When I get the link, I'll be sure to show you all!

Waiting and Hibernating

2011-03-23T09:48:00.001-04:00

I just got a call regarding the package I've been wearily waiting for and it appears that I have made actual contact with the person who can be sure it is sent to me. That can only be good news. I've been waiting, doubting, wondering, worrying, and sitting like a bear in the winter. Actually hibernation isn't just about bears sitting is it? Well, I've been sitting, and sleeping and not sleeping which is far worse. In other words, I've been all jacked up about it all. If that phone call was the indication that I think it was, I am grateful to be past that hump.

I think today it would be best for me to run errands and get out of my home. The walls are getting tight and this could relieve the stress. I definitely do better when I'm away but I haven't left much lately. I can see a light at the end of the tunnel. Thank goodness.

Faith

2011-03-22T09:47:00.001-04:00

Today I watched online church again. This is week two and nope, it's not Sunday but that's the beauty of the online thing, you don't have to be on time. Gotta say, I love that. The sermon was about faith. Really if you watched it, you might say it's about something else entirely but the gist was that if you trust in God or the universe and ask for the big stuff, it will work out. I had to get introspective here. I know that when I was doing A to Z, I wanted big stuff, right? I wanted Meryl Streep to call me. I wanted to hear from Ellen DeGeneres. I wanted my videos to go viral. I wanted an agent, casting director, filmmmaker to call and offer me big things. I wanted film work. I said it over and over in this blog and out loud. I put it out there for all to see and criticize. I don't think I was too shy about my clarity, my desires, my goals. Still, it would seem that none of that happened. I had doubt. I felt greedy asking for it. I had worries that my dream was less noble than perhaps someone else's. So was it my own feeling that I was asking too much or a lack of faith that made it not happen? Was it me being too afraid to say I want THIS and not settle for anything less than that has me on my couch with the phone not ringing? The hope is still there.

Yesterday my phone rang. It was a 310 number ... that's LA. It was a call I hoped, from an agent or director or someone who saw A to Z. That's what it was in my dreams and for the second that I glanced at the phone I had two fast thoughts run through my mind ... wrong number or something great. It was a realtor who said she was from Century 21 ... which made it sound all the more like MGM was calling and she wanted to know if I knew anyone looking for real estate in my area. I have a 310 phone number so she was referring to Culver City or greater Los Angeles. Hmm, nope, I'm in Ohio right now but I'll let you know, was my response. Then she said, "are YOU looking to move?" to which I wanted to shout... DUH, ALWAYS. But I did not say that. I said no. What would have been the big deal for me to say yes and just see what was possible? I was too afraid to even play with the thought for a moment. I didn't want to be disappointed in the end so I didn't engage.

I think a lot of us do that with our dreams. We don't even dare to entertain them because we secretly know they will not come true and don't feel we could bear the disappointment. So as I sit here barely able to stand the disappointment in the lack of calls from a to z and the lack of big news as the result of my year long project, I still am glad I did it. Now I just have to have the guts to ask for what I want without apologies, leaving the selfish feelings behind and have the faith that it will happen for me.

Um

2011-03-21T10:08:00.000-04:00

No blog today. At a loss for words. That has to be a good thing ... for someone.

Theorys from a Torquato

2011-03-20T10:11:00.001-04:00

I have many theories and today I will share them with you,or at least some of them. You can thank me later.

1. Ikea - cute, cheap, cool, broken. You go there and you see an overwhelming amount of furniture that's contemporary, cool and costs very little. You buy it. You assemble it with the pictures they provide since all the directions are in Swedish and you have a nice little piece in your bedroom, living room or office. You actually think you got one over on someone because it's so darn cute and doesn't even look cheap but then it happens. It gets wonky, the chair leg keeps wobbling and you have to screw it on tighter as it loosens about every three days. The drawer doesn't slide in as easily and you have to force it with your hip. Then the inevitable, it breaks. The drawers are now on the floor and the cute dresser you bought now has one over on you. It happens to all Ikea furniture, not sure about their lamps. Don't say I didn't warn you.

2. Laundry, it will take over your life and it can be bigger than you in both mass and intimidation. Mine is. I did 5 loads yesterday and didn't make a dent but I did sleep on clean sheets and I do feel lighter for it. What does this mean? You cannot, no matter how cute the rental is, how great the location is, how inexpensive the monthly fee is, go without laundry in your dwelling. If you do, you will have an entire room dedicated to laundry that you may never wear again ... or maybe I'm just telling you how it goes in my world. I sure do miss some of those outfits. Sigh.

3. The couch. It can be your best friend or it can be your best friend. Remember how only you and your best friend could get into the kind of trouble that would send your Mom in a tizzy? That's what I'm talking about. My couch is like a buddy. I can just be me around it. I can sleep on it. I can eat on it. I don't have to dress up for it. I can watch a movie on it and I'm sitting on it typing this blog to you right now. I also can avoid exercise on it. Pretend like I have no laundry on it and fall into a deep depression on it. So yes it's a best friend and all that means wrapped up into one cozy ... OK, I love it too much to bad mouth it. Everyone should have one and yet promise not to be on it too much. I haven't made that promise yet but it's coming.

So these are just some of my theories this Sunday after a full moon that didn't look all that big to me. I'm quite sure had I caught it at the right angle, during the perfect minute, it would have been amazing. Such is life, it's all about the timing. A to Z came at the perfect time in my life and as I market it, I most certainly will know that what comes from it, will be perfect too.

Contemplations in the Shower

2011-03-19T08:47:00.001-04:00

I don't really have a morning routine. Other than my eyes opening, morning math (how many hours did I clock), and checking for email on my phone before standing up ... it's all a crap shoot. I might shower immediately, or blog, or clean, or do a sudoku puzzle or return emails or or or. Today though as in many days, I took a shower first thing. This is where I do all of my thinking ... wait, that sounds bad, I'm not a zombie for the rest of the day but I basically take a shower and try to solve the world's problems. It's just what I do. I also start to picture myself having my day, I see myself cleaning my apartment like a crazy woman. I imagine what I'll blog about. I think about conversations I will have with very important people in my life and I usually think about sticking up for myself in various situations where I've been wronged, or so I perceive it. Oh and then there's the list of errands that I compile in my head and almost never remember totally. This will bug me later, trust me.

Then I get out of the shower, dry off, forget to use lotion and look for an outfit. Lately I've been down so I haven't been going anywhere which means my outfit choices have been that which would resemble the homeless or a drunk college kid. This does not make for a good feeling when I pass a mirror so you can be sure that when I walk around, my head is down. Now one would think I would begin to tackle all of those solutions I came up with in the shower, since I'm dressed and I'm all alone with no one to get in my way but that's NOT what I do. I become paralyzed. The big spring cleaning I imagined seems too daunting. The stances I decided to take on my own behalf are too frightening and frankly, exhaust me. I do tend to blog for the most part but even that has been less than lately. Well, there's no A to Z right? So what AM I talking about anyway?

I've been waiting for a very important package in the mail. I won't go into details but suffice it to say that without it, I will have no work per se and it will put me in a very bad position. This stresses me out beyond belief. I could just move on, trust that it will come when it does (that's pretty much how that always goes down) and find something else to do with my time but that's NOT what I do. I worry. I send emails to correct the situation and I get vague in return. I can't even call them responses. They're just vague. It's amazing how many people have no problem with answering questions with non answers. I personally would feel like I was ripping off the questioner but not most folks. Am I too forthcoming? Do I expect to know too much? Am I surrounding myself with people who are less than honest? What does this mean? Yikes.

Well, I just got word ... actually I didn't get word I read word on facebook and it was Cassie's status indicating that she was in the car coming home. For those of you out of the loop, she went to Kansas in January for a month. Um, yes you got that right, this is the end of March and that is way longer than a month. She was promised a ride back but it never materialized until last night so she's in the car even as I type. I'm not sure if I'll see her right away and her room is NOT ready for her at all... remember the cleaning thing, yes, that's what I'm talking about. Her room is the laundry room. The entire room is filled with clothes, hers and mine, and about 15 loads from now I suppose the room could be used for sleeping but not before. So, I should be cleaning that somehow, not even for Cassie but for me. It's been hanging over my head and really bugging me, not enough to make me actually do something about it but like a fly buzzing around my ear bugging, bugging, bugging. I'm not sure the significance of Cassie coming home. I'm not sure how I feel about any of it.

As for A to Z, I might be a half step closer to getting my pictures for my new packet and for work. Updated headshots is a must in my biz. A half step isn't that big of a deal except it does involve me being in LA for at least a few days and that will be good for my soul. Funny huh? A place where the soulless reside, is good for my soul ... go figure.

What will I do now? I don't know. I have this whole day before me and I don't want to see or talk to people. I should be cleaning but I cannot promise I'll do that. Now you see the significance of my completing A to Z. I built a schedule that would not allow me to procrastinate or become paralyzed. I did it and now I fear that until I find another love project, I will be looking like the homeless, woefully out of fashion, depressed.

I got nothin'

2011-03-18T12:41:00.002-04:00

If I were to write today it might not be my brightest post so let's just say I hope you had a nice St. Patrick's Day. The End.

Special thanks for the X Scene!

2011-03-15T23:27:00.001-04:00

It's Complicated was a movie that I saw prior to beginning A to Z and I loved it. It was written and directed by one of my absolute favorites, Nancy Meyer and it had all the cool music, laughter and fun that I require in a film. In short, it is a chick flick. That's right up my alley and after weeding through so many dramas, some that ran long and were difficult to get myself to watch, it was a thrill that coursed through me when I pulled It's Complicated out of the "hat".

With that said, me playing that role of Jane Adler is wildly inappropriate and bad casting. I could see myself cast in the role of Julia in Defending Your Life or even as Francesca in Bridges of Madison County but this role might have been the one that I found the most wrong for me. Even in Prime, where I'm supposed to have a son who's 23, I have a daughter who is 21 so that wasn't so out of reach to me. Even though I've never been a homeless bum, Ironweed felt doable. It's Complicated is a story about a woman who was married for decades to a man who cheated on her for a much younger model. They then divorced and my character had to endure her remarried ex with his younger wife in many situations that involved the kids. As I sit here divorced and yes in fact my ex husband did remarry, this still is so far from me. I wouldn't cast myself in this role but like all the others, I was going to make it happen and it did.

Devon Collins shot and edited It's Complicated and it was very complicated for him to do so. He was on another shoot and had been assured that it would completed at a very specific time. We coordinated everything around that time. Poor Devon got to his other shoot and discovered that time was fictitious. They added more locations and he left hours later than he had expected. The pressure was on when he arrived at our location. We were running out of time with one of the actors and Devon had to perform in rapid speed. He did it though. He managed to set up the lights and figure out the camera angles in minutes. The very fact that he could be under the gun so much and come up with anything is saying something. Trying to get what is needed for the edit when the time crunch is so present is a challenge and Devon gave it his all. This scene was Devon's swan song in the world of A to Z. He was exhausted and showed up anyway. I feel very fortunate to have worked with him on my project and will continue to do so on many projects to come. Thanks so much for everything, Dev! To hire Devon email him at devon@stimulifilm.com or to see his other work visit his channel at vimeo.com/devon.

Mike Kraft was the voice behind The Fantastic Mr. Fox and in It's Complicated he was perfectly cast in Alec Baldwin's role, Jake Adler. Mike arrived prepared with costume, props and lines memorized. That's pretty much how Mike rolls. If he's on a job, you can rest assured he's going to bring it. Whether there's someone sitting in the chair across from him or not, he's going to deliver time and time again a consistent, letter perfect performance. He may be there offering advice, as he comes with many ideas of how to make things happen most efficiently. He may even notice the hair out of place or what needs to happen to assure continuity. He's a consummate professional. Mike stays busy. He's an extraordinary on camera talent. You'll find him as the voice of or the face of many products, too many to mention. Visit his website to see demo after demo of his fabulous work, http://www.mikekraft.com or email him at narr8tor@gmail.com. He's a whiz with the ear prompter and can cook a mean meal too, if you're lucky enough to have dinner with him!

Tom Kondilas played the Doctor in this scene. Talk about a quick operation. He was there on time, ready to go and even willing to go out and buy another costume choice just to be perfect. As we sat in the hotel, running lines and preparing for the scene, we watched the time tick away. Tom had to go to a previous engagement and a lesser man would have bailed saying he didn't want to be put under such a drastic time constraint. Tom did not do this though. He rolled with the punches. Instead, he shot his entire part in 10 minutes. I'm not exaggerating. I was looking at the clock. He took direction, remained focused and knocked it out. I appreciate his efforts, his attention to detail and his stick to it attitude. Originally I saw Tom's work on stage at the Liminis theater and I was so impressed that I thought of him for another on camera shoot and this role. I'm so glad he accepted and joined us on this wild ride. Tom is the point man for his own production company. Visit their website here, http://www.lessproductions.com/2010/01/about-less-productions.html. To email Tom directly for work and I can assure you he will work his tookus off, tom.kondilas@gmail.com. And he has his own blog that I encourage you to read http://tomkondilas.blogspot.com/

Terri Negron is my tech support and my web magician who magically turns my every post into a wonder before my eyes. I could go on and on. Only rarely do I select the cute little pics you see on this blog, that's all Terri. When my videos show up on my fan page on Facebook, that's Terri too. Oh and then there's my website and grabbing the still from each scene after I select it which I hate to say takes several tries. She's oh so patient with me and does wonderful work. To hire Terri email her, terri@fengshui5.com

THE MUSIC. Oh, the Music! I'm about to gush. As I've mentioned so many times, Nancy Meyer is one of my favorite writers and directors but another talent of hers is music choice in her films. She selects the best pieces for every moment in the movie. I've even purchased soundtracks from her movies, I love them so much. So, when I heard Jonny and His Dad, a local father, son duo play "Nancy's Jazz" for the first time, I immediately said I LOVE THAT SONG and I said it reminded me of a Nancy Meyer's type song. When I began doing A to Z I knew I wanted to use that song in one of my scenes so imagine my excitement when I found I was doing a Nancy Meyer's film and a light, jovial scene matched perfectly with their song. Originally Jimmy and Jonathan called this song the Jazz song but they switched it to Nancy's Jazz when they recorded specially for me. Awwww, do you love that as much as I do? You can't possibly. Jimmy and Jonathan headed over to The Reel Thing, made this recording and I was fortunate enough to be allowed to use it in my It's Complicated scene. My only regret is that I should have told Devon I wanted it through the entire scene, louder in certain moments and quieter in others of course, because I think that would have been a great improvement on the flow and vibe of the scene. I love that song. Remind me to request my own copy from the boys. I could listen to it all day long. To hear more of their music and learn about Jonny and His Dad go to their website at http://www.jonnyandhisdad.com and get them booked at your local coffee and spirits house!

Special Thanks go to:

AFTRA. OK, this might be confusing but last year I went to our AFTRA, Annual Meeting and I won a door prize of a free hotel room at the Residence Inn in Beachwood. Funny thing is I was the one handing out the prizes and I made a big deal about it being a hotel room in case anyone wanted to shack up, wink wink, you know, just being silly and then MY name was picked out of the hat. A to Z was very new at the time but I realized that the room would probably be a location for one scene or another. YAY AFTRA, my union rocks! Oh, you do get that I used my winning door prize for the location for It's Complicated, right?

Also a big thank you goes out to Pete Tokar who engineered and mixed the song played by Jonny and His Dad. Nancy's Jazz sounded wonderful due to his magic touch in the studio.

Thanks to all my Xers!

Beware the Ides of March

2011-03-15T08:05:00.001-04:00

You know how some things stick with you - A song you used to listen to when you were 16, a favorite sweater you can still feel if you close your eyes tight enough, a bean burrito? Well, I'm quite sure that long after the z becomes zzzzzzzzz, I will remember A to Z with Meryl and Me. I learned so much about acting, collaboration and most important, myself. Not that I'm saying I'm most important but introspection doesn't hurt anyone unless you get kooky with it and then you're not doing anybody any favors. So what did I learn from Valentines' Day to Valentine's Day? This is a question I've been pondering for over a month.

I learned that:
Some people are going to love you no matter what you do.
Some won't love you no matter what you do.
It's most important to love yourself and let the other stuff just fall in line.
Everyone's got an opinion and none of them matter, including mine.
Meryl Streep has done a heckuva lot of dramas!
I can learn any accent given enough time and effort.
I have staying power even when exhausted, distraught and starving.
I will continue to learn from this blip in time long after it's over.
and so much more!

I confirmed that:
I want to act more than anything and will continue to do so until I no longer love it.
I'm pretty blissed out just being in front of a camera and working with incredibly talented people which is a restatement of the first thing I listed and if I were to go on I would only find more ways to say the same thing. I love acting!

Tomorrow I will post the thanks for the X scene, It's Complicated. Then shortly after will come the Y and Z scene thank yous. You will then notice a drop off in my posting but be sure to add my blog to your follow list because every now and then I will check in with new developments, press updates and all the wonderful opportunities that come my way because of Meryl Streep and her influence on me.

Tis the Season for the Commandments!

2011-03-14T12:19:00.001-04:00

What have I been doing for the past month? Your guess is as good as mine but here's where I come clean and figure out if I've kept my promises.

On line Church

2011-03-13T10:54:00.001-04:00

So it's lent you know. That means for 40 days, according to the Catholic church, we should try to give up or do something that would be considered a sacrifice for the Lord. It's like a big thank you to Jesus for giving us the hook up so long ago. Some people give up desserts, or some try not to swear, or some instead decide to go to church regularly but it's an individual choice, just like the choice we make daily whether or not to be happy, worried, loving etc. Today I wanted to start going to church for lent. I thought, it's been a long time and I really would like to attend a service that's just right for me. Truth be told, I've been to mostly Catholic masses and the experience has not always been a good one. I've always envied those who went to church and actually got something from it and then ACTED upon it. You know what I mean. Instead of the folks that sit in church and then get out to the parking lot ready for war, I wanted to find the experience that taught about the teachings of Jesus. Now here's the good part. Some people don't even believe in Jesus but whether you do or not, the teachings are worth a listen. Love thy neighbor is one of my favorites. It's the thing that keeps me from being a butthead when I might otherwise be inclined to do so but I ask myself what would I wish that person would do for me and then I act accordingly. I can't say I do this all the time but I try to remember it. Or another good one is Judge not, lest ye be judged. Wow, that can be a tough one. I can honestly say now every time I'm being a judge, I notice it. I sometimes say, I know I'm being judgmental and sometimes I don't acknowledge it aloud but I hear that line of scripture every time ... yikes. Who am I to judge anyway?

So today I attended an ONLINE church. That's so my speed. It was the perfect start to this new lent thing I'm doing. The sermon was to love how Jesus loved, live how Jesus lived and do what Jesus did. Now again, even if you don't think of Jesus as being real, it's no matter. If someone said love how Santa loves you would know that means give a bunch of presents. So Jesus gave when it wasn't convenient but when there was a need. I can do that. He loved the lowest of the low and didn't judge them. I can do that. He saw needs and met them. I can do that too. Wow, who would have thought that in the middle of my A to Z chat with you I would become evangelic but I guess this is an insight to me and why I do some of the silly stuff I do. It's not a game. I am not kind to someone who was cruel because I'm manipulating in some way. I do it because I would want to be forgiven. Every time I was frustrated in the A to Z process, that's how I kept it together. Every time I was disappointed, I thought about this stuff. Every time I awoke to a new day hoping that Meryl Streep would call me and she didn't, I kept forging ahead because judging her wasn't going to change anything and being angry wasn't serving me or anyone around me. Don't get me wrong, I was still angry but at least I knew in the back of my head that I was wasting my time. Then of course I was angry with myself for wasting my time being silly. It's a vicious circle. So I guess you could say I didn't so much learn new things but was reminded of old things that are important to me. And if I got nothing else from my online church, I learned that you can find anything online. Sheesh, isn't that amazing?!

Where have I been anyway?

2011-03-11T08:37:00.001-05:00

I'll tell you where. I've been working on this advertising campaign and plotting my next marketing strategy for A to Z. I also have been well, not here. I suppose that's how this will go down. I will write just a few times a week, then once, then fade away like a relationship breakup. 3 things you can count on are the X, Y, and Z thanks. I will be sure to write those first. Then perhaps a new blog? Or a marketing blog? Or no writing at all, although I know a few people who will then have no idea what I'm doing if I choose that.

BTW, the X thanks are the ones I'm preparing. It takes quite a bit to put out a thank you post because I have to find all of the proper links, bio information and be sure to word it just right. I'm so grateful to the volunteers who worked on A to Z, that it's the most important writing I do. So, if you feel like I need to get on with the thanks, just know I'm crafting them as the moments pass.

BTW, I made banana bread last night and it was good. Just thought I'd mention that. I'm no Julia Child or Julie Powell for that matter but I tore that up! Yum!

Meetings, meetings and NO SLEEP

2011-03-08T09:42:00.001-05:00

I'm a nervous wreck. I have to get so much done and because I've hired others to do it, I must wait. Yikes.

Last night was our AFTRA meeting. It was interesting. It was great to see so many faces and I even took a moment to list all of the AFTRAns who were involved in A to Z with Meryl and Me. It was a long list. What a beautiful thing. I have a long list of participants who are professionals and my brothers and sisters. Being at the meeting was like going to a family reunion. My hope is to bring my union siblings with me to reunion once again on this or other future projects.

As I reread what I've written, I realize that I truly have to be in the mood to write to come up with gold. This isn't gold but it says what's on my mind. I have more thanks to write and more planning to do. I cannot wait to get two radio spots in the can so I can take some time to focus on my trip to LA and promoting A to Z. That will be a tremendous moment. Hey, maybe I'll run into Nancy Meyers, Ellen DeGeneres, Nora Ephron or Meryl will be grabbing a latte at one of the million coffee shops and we can chat. I sure do hope so!

More Affirmations

2011-03-07T07:59:00.001-05:00

If we sit still and listen most of the time the answers will come to us. I do believe in signs. I do think that if I try something from all angles and it does not work that it's a message from God or the universe if you prefer, that it isn't meant to be. With that said, every time I skate outside of what I LOVE and know that I love to do, I find myself dissatisfied, frustrated, bored, uninterested, and to some extent, disgusted. I appreciate that I have work and that I have cash flow. I do not love managing people. I continue to impose my own work ethic on others and frankly, most peeps don't roll the way I do.

Here's the thing. If I call you for work and you're busy, I can understand. BUT if you know that the task I'm requesting is beyond your means, tell me immediately so I can replace you. If you're so busy that you cannot call, email, text or send carrier pigeon or if my money is no good to you, then please state that up front. No hard feelings will be had by me and we can move on while I still respect you.

During A to Z, I sometimes ran into folks whose schedules did not mesh with mine or in one case, a person who was not in the position to do gratis work. What I loved about those seemingly less than perfect situations were the people who UP FRONT gave me their schedules, conflicts or reservations. Then it was up to me to decide how I would handle it. In most cases because they were so on it I worked completely around them. I can be very accommodating but if people had reservations about the role or the lack of money I would say thanks for the honesty and be on my merry way. You see they didn't cause me any distress whatsoever. Hearing no isn't as bad as you might think when it's said in a timely fashion.

So now due to the late decision by the client, I have to scramble to get my team in action. Of course, this is the time where they are too busy and now I'm on 4 out of 5 nights with crappy sleep. I thought hiring professionals, experts, support would make things better but for the most part it hasn't.

Meryl Streep does not have these sorts of issues or maybe she does. Come to think of it, she hasn't answered any of my questions or returned any phone calls or even sent a text ... bitch. lololol... couldn't resist.

Internet disconnect

2011-03-06T10:21:00.001-05:00

Over the weekend, my internet connection was intermittent at best. This meant if I felt a blog coming on, it was the phone or nada. I went with nada.

I'm feeling a bit behind on the A to Z front. I haven't planned my LA trip. I've done zero to market this stuff. I still have X, Y, and Z to thank. And it feels like I never did the project to begin with ... of course, that's not true. Just go to my website, youtube channel and facebook fan page and you'll see that The Love Project did exist.

Jumping head first into a new venture that has me playing roles other than the performer also contributes to this feeling. It is though, the key to me being able to afford to live and take trips and further my own career so it's necessary. While in Indie this past weekend, I learned that I can be a selling fool. I just start yapping and the stuff sells itself. If I believe in something, it's a done deal. My boss kept winding up his arm and teasing me that I was pitching, pitching, pitching! I didn't even know I was doing it. I think that's how I got so many involved in A to Z. I was excited so they were too.

Next up, I must visit a lot of people who wanted to spend time this past year. But that's not all folks.

Friday and into the Weekend

2011-03-04T20:05:00.001-05:00

Today was the day where I had to meet with various folks and play the role of Creative Director, Producer and problem solver. It went rather smoothly. A lot of it came down to me having solutions or at least knowing who to add to my team to fix the situation. Really in life, that's just it, isn't it? If you can't find the answer yourself just make sure you have a wealth of resources and you'll be fine.

Tomorrow I fly back to Cleveland and since I wasn't in a major city, I'm fine with the return. I'm always reluctant to head home when I've been anywhere that's bustling with energy but in the case of sweet Indiana, it's not all that different from Ohio.

My goodness ... I just reread what I wrote here and yikes, I sure am boring in Indiana. Well, there's not too much to report. I've been hired to do a job. Fortunately, I get to bring a lot of people work, and in the end I will get to be on radio and TV for some commercials. Is it my dream job? I don't think I need to answer that. I am grateful though that this has come along to help me give back to some of my A to Zers who helped this past year.

Gary Indiana, nope not there exactly

2011-03-03T07:48:00.001-05:00

I'm headed to Indianapolis airport. It's a charming town, Indianapolis and yet that's not where I'm going. I do find Chicago fun, especially Michigan avenue but I'm not heading there either. Instead, I'll be smack dab in the middle of the two cities, in a corn field. Insert image of me as Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz. I really don't know if this will be my emerald city but it should be interesting.

This means that my marketing of A to Z will probably not be happening for at least a week but it also means that I will have a better idea of the time commitment to this park and I'll find out more about being the voice and face of it. That's gotta be good, right?

So when I land in Indie and while I'm driving for 2 hours to get to this remote location, I'll be sure to think about the joys of getting paid for my work and of loving what I do. Even though anything that isn't on camera or radio isn't a true love of mine, a girl's gotta make bank, ya know?

I'll try to stay in touch. I have the feeling there will be stories.

The Morning Before

2011-03-02T10:12:00.001-05:00

Tomorrow I'm going to Indiana for the Indiana Beach meeting. I will get to tour the park, meet the owner face to face and see the sites. I'm pretty sure there aren't many sites but it should be a good meeting for me nonetheless.

This morning I woke up far too early. I was excited for my day and restless all at the same time. Hmm, rest less, yes that's what it was a mere 4 hours of rest but I do see a nap in my future. You know how I feel about no sleep so I won't go on about that.

As for the future of my marketing plan with A to Z, I expect to know way more once I return from Indiana and can begin planning my trip to LA. I wish I had more to say right now but I don't. Lots on my mind and trying to keep it all in order.

Special thanks for the W scene!

2011-03-01T08:24:00.002-05:00

Silkwood. As I wrote not so long ago, the Karen Silkwood story meant a lot to me. For as strongly as I've fought to covert non union jobs to union jobs, for as often as I've gone out of my way to attend union meetings, and as frequently as I've served on the board, gone to conventions or chaired a committee, I just know that in the face of poor treatment to my brothers and sisters, I too, would stand tall and strong for my union. Yet, there is no way of knowing if I could have ever maintained my strength under such extreme circumstances as Karen Silkwood endured. I have the utmost respect for not only what she strove for but how severely she put herself on the line for her union. So once again, this scene and this film was dear to me and I felt a tremendous responsibility playing the role, of Karen Silkwood. I can only say that Meryl Streep has been shrewd in her character selections. She has chosen strong, independent women to portray and of course, she did a magnificent job playing Karen. In my research to look like Karen, I learned so much and I continue to think of her ever since we "met" during my A to Z project. Now, let's get on with the thanks for this scene that I am oh so proud of and that I believe is one of our best.

Spencer Jay Kim. Well, he had quite a task before him. His job was to take this scene, which was originally played outside in the movie, during spring time and make it seem right, indoors while not drawing attention to the location whatsoever. He kept the camera moving. The energy was high. He brought a sense of urgency coupled with what I was portraying and made it all the more palpable just in his shot composition. He continued to have us going over and over and over the scene again, never telling us how close he was or where he was shooting, giving us the opportunity to get a flow and work to find the levels. I never realized he was shooting Bobby's hands because I was so involved in the scene but in the end when Jay was editing and decided to put in a cutaway of Bobby's hands taking out the papers and pen, it was brilliance. This was the vision that Jay had before getting anywhere near an editing suite. So for a guy who calls himself an actor, writer, director ... he's not bad with a hand held camera and an editing suite. He in fact, from time to time, creates magic. This can be said of his rendition of Silkwood, Marvin's Room, A Cry in the Dark and A Prairie Home Companion. Good work Jay. This was the last scene you shot for me and I venture to say, your very best. To hire Jay in whatever capacity knowing that he will give 110% regardless of the task, email him at jkimgant@hotmail.com.

Mace Hurley was played by Bobby Thomas. Bobby is no stranger to projects that have a huge scope and that might scare off the sheepish. He recently did his own web series. To see it go to http://www.roadtosundance.com/. He has years of experience as a voice talent and has been heard on air for decades. So with his many talents, he was a natural selection to play the role of Mace Hurley. Although Bobby himself is a sweetie pie, I knew he had the chops to pull it off and I love the fine line that he walked keeping the character true to the story with a dash of smarm and a sprinkle of distrust. It was a perfect portrayal and I cannot thank Bobby enough for not only helping me out but including me on one of his teams recently. Remember when I was doing the 48 hour film project and I was shooting scenes around it? It was a time of chaos as was the day of our Silkwood shoot. Bottom line, in smooth times it's good to have Bobby around but in crazy, impossible situations, you wouldn't want anyone else. I've sat next to him at countless AFTRA meetings and I couldn't think of a better guy to have on my left. To see our film for the 48 hour film project, click here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v64puZ-bv8M. To contact Bobby for work email him at bobby@bobbythomasvoices.com or visit his website at http://www.bobbythomasvoices.com

Earl was portrayed by Mike Misiak. Mike is another gem. The thing about Mike is although prior to the Silkwood scene, we had never worked together, I just knew he would be a strong link in the chain. Mike has always been in my corner as a supportive and appreciative friend and I was thrilled to give him the task of doing so much with so little. I've mentioned it before, having a role that requires listening MORE than talking is a task and Mike surprised me take after take with an internal story that showed on his face at every moment, yet his expressions were ever so subtle. For many actors the tendency would be to over emote just to be noticed but I kept telling Jay in the edit, we've got to cut to Mike there. He's giving us gold! It was so true. To learn more and hire Mike visit his website at http://www.michaelmisiak.com. He also plays in two bands: The Boxes at www.theboxesband.com and BMZ at www.bmzmusic.com.

Technical Support by Terri Negron. What new information can I give you about Terri? I've told you how dependable she is and I've mentioned how wonderful she is at prioritizing. I've gone on and on about her speed, good nature, support, problem solving and technical skills. I've called her my angel, fairy godmother, and Zeus ... well maybe not Zeus but she is pretty powerful. You just have to experience her for yourself. To hire Terri, email her at terri@fengshui5.com.

Location was provided by Larry Nehring. Larry was cast in two of my scenes which is unheard of in A to Z. I never had the same person on camera twice for the entire project but in the case of Larry I was going to make an exception. His roles were in The French Lieutenant's Woman and The House of Spirits. Both roles were originally played by Jeremy Irons. Larry is an anglophile and a tremendous actor. He would have been perfection in the roles. Unfortunately, due to scheduling and juggling of the letters, those two scenes got cut. If I were ever to do the 1,2,3's of Meryl and Me's ... Larry would be one of the Me's I would bring back into the fold. He was so gracious to allow us to shoot at his place and spent time preparing for our arrival. What a sweetie!

Camera was provided by Woodie Anderson. Also provided by Woodie were the lights on many occasions and an undying support for my project, A to Z. I am so grateful for the Woodie's of the world. What's a Woodie you ask? Picture this, a dear friend mixed with a sincere support, and a cheerleader all wrapped into one! Thank you Woodie!

Editing Suite was provided by Dave Thomas. This was the 3rd or 4th or 50th time Dave loaned Jay and I his editing computer. Why don't I remember the number? Because that's Dave for you. No matter how often we would ask, he was just there. He was willing to drive it to me and would be so grateful if I would drop it off. Um, he was doing ME the favor, of course I would drive anywhere to get it. Another sweetie pie in my corner. I'm so glad to know Dave!

Special Thanks to:

Jennifer Torquato for the use of her wig which actually was a better look than Meryl herself had in the movie! ssshhhhh, don't tell. Oh and she's not Cher or anything. She doesn't usually wear a wig!

The Cleveland Clinic for the use of our white suits/ wardrobe.

And the Oscar goes to ...

2011-02-28T07:51:00.001-05:00

Last night was a big night in Hollywood. It got me thinking, but what doesn't, right? Truth is, women in film don't usually make a big break later in life. Jessica Tandy comes to mind right away but I'm really not willing to wait for someone to drive me around and call me Miss Nancy to have an amazing career. I guess this is as close to a mid life crisis as I'm going to get. I was just a bit panic stricken to think that I'd have to have a major role and pronto to get caught up in that world. Why would I want to? Why would I care? It's not that I'm clamoring for the paparazzi to be chasing me around nor do I want my privacy completely invaded but I do want to get out of Ohio and I want to work with the best in the business. OK, I'll say no more of that but let's just say that while I could do my own tearful Oscar acceptance speech thanking everyone who touched A to Z, I would still want the whole world to know about it. That's just me. Also me is the girl who will be writing the thanks to the Silkwood scene. Coming soon at a computer near you.

Oh and Meryl Streep wasn't up for an award this year which I felt was untimely considering the A to Z thing but I can be self absorbed, can't I?

Online ADD

2011-02-27T11:50:00.003-05:00

When I go hiking, I always go with a friend, most of the time it's The Jimmy. There are many reasons for that but beyond the fun, good exercise and the great talks, there's the I don't want to die alone in the woods thing. You see no matter how many times we've gone, I still tend toward the wrong path. If there's a choice, I'll make the wrong one. to this day, when Jimmy lets me lead he is still fascinated that I could always be wrong. Me? I'm not so fascinated just pretty used to it and luckily I think it's funny. I'm glad to say I don't feel lost in life however online is another story..

Here's how it works on the google trail. I receive an email from travelocity with ridiculously low rates for flights to LA. I know I want and need to go there so I click on the link. I then start looking at dates and come to the conclusion that it would be best to travel there during pilot season. So I go to google and I put in 2011 pilot season and get a host of responses. I click on one which leads me to some links of great breakdowns so I can get the skinny on the auditions and then another one leads me to agents and getting one in LA. Yet another link leads me to a cupcake shop near one of the agencies. Yep, I go from a flight to a cupcake in a moments notice. Do you ever do that? By the time I'm done drooling over the cupcakes that I will only get to enjoy if I actually GO to LA, I'm so tired I forgot what I was trying to accomplish.

Maybe a more accurate statement is that I do tend to live my life like I hike. I sometimes do get lost and do go the wrong way but I always come out of the woods unharmed. And much like the google path, I get distracted and enchanted along the way but I don't gain any weight, or lose any sleep over it. I usually just laugh at myself.

After one very long and very speedy year of doing A to Z, I felt finally like I was on the right path, headed toward something. I often had a feeling of something amazing was just about to happen. The feeling didn't stick with me at all times but when it was there, it was like a best friend hiking by my side. I LOVED it. Now, I guess you could say I feel rather lost again but the good news is I have this new job that will pay me actual money which will allow me to go to LA and get new headshots and perhaps, get a cupcake too!

Groceries, Long Talks and Thinking

2011-02-26T11:19:00.003-05:00

I broke down and spent some of my income on groceries. This should be no big deal but after a year of thinking of groceries as a luxury, I realized that I was using my pantry for storage and I had mayo in my fridge that was 5 years old, no exaggeration. What can we learn from this?

1. I don't like mayo, never have, only use it when I make Tuna salad or Egg Salad type stuff.
2. My tummy was NOT my focus for 12 months.
3. One does not need a butt load of groceries to have a load of butt ... er, that didn't come out right but you know what I mean. I didn't mind any concessions I made because I was doing what I love. So now I've got a full pantry and fridge and am home all alone thinking do I really need all this crap? I'd rather be filling up with on camera work or vo work and that's the truth! zerbit.

Then I had a long talk or two with some of my team players for this Amusement park gig which isn't yet amusing but I'm sure will be. We sorted out expectations and I'm still working on my Mean Mommy routine. I was taught a few years back about nexting. Ever hear of it? It's when someone asks you something and rather than actually refusing to answer, you make it clear that you won't be answering with a gesture, a phrase, a look, as if to say NEXT. Well, I've been nexting along my way for a couple of days now and I think I might add it to my repertoire in all of life. Here I've been explaining ad nauseum my every move and to whom do I owe an explanation? UM, NO ONE! So, that's that.

Now onto my thinking ... my thinking ... my thinking ... that's how it's been going. Today I thought isn't it amazing that during the summer 50 degrees is freezing and during the winter 50 degrees is balmy? It's the same temperature but it has to do with expectations. Such is life. A kind word from one person can mean very little but from the one you love most, it means the world. It's the same word. I could come up with 52 examples but you know what I'm saying. So could we decide to just love 50 degrees no matter when it happens? We could. Could we decide to appreciate those kind words no matter who says them? Yep. Will we? NOPE! lolololololol. Ah, I should write for some psychiatric journal or metaphysical newsletter shouldn't I? hee hheee heee.

Fasting while Learning Slowly

2011-02-25T08:24:00.003-05:00

I didn't fast this past Wednesday so I decided to fast Thursday. Why? I haven't done much to take care of myself health wise so I thought a weekly cleanse might be a good idea.

So I fasted and spent the day trying to learn about my new found role of Producer/ Ad Agency Head. I have been asking questions to people who know what they're doing and have a ton of experience. That is where one learns, is it not?

Meanwhile, here is what I really learned. It's time to be Mean Mommy. That is not a role I do well. When Cassie was little ... remember Cassie ... she was in A Prairie Home Companion ... anyway, when she was little it was very easy for me to discipline her. Sure she was cuter than cute but I knew what was best for her and I didn't so much care about what was "fair" but instead concerned myself with her well being and that was final. I had no hard feelings if she was crying her eyes out because I said no. I knew my decision was good and I knew she was going to be just fine. Flash forward to Cassie as a teen when she had all the manipulative powers that puberty bestows on a girl, and you would see me consider her feelings waaaaaaaaaaaay too much. I listened to her when she had complaints or was sad and although I didn't fold when I did give her a punishment, I was less apt to dole one out once I realized that I would be in a constant position of disciplining. I then started picking my battles versus solely thinking about what was best for her. I wanted peace. I wanted harmony. Look up Libra ... that's what I was shooting for and not achieving at all. You know I'm going somewhere with this. Well, to be the manager of a team of people requires the ability to say no and try again and that's just not working for me and thanks for your opinion but we'll be using mine. Of course, there are many ways to say those things diplomatically but I always prefer not to be put in the position of having to say those things. I would rather have everyone do as I ask without having to ask more than once and for them to do my bidding. LOL... I just said bidding. Well, it's my fantasy right? I can call it bidding if I want. So Mean Mommy has to be in the house. I have to actually gear myself up for it. I tend to choose people I admire and whose work I respect so their opinions mean a lot to me but it's time I put my foot down.

What a sharp contrast, by the way, from my approach to A to Z where diplomacy was the way of the world and I never said NO to anyone. I pretty much worked my life around everyone else and even if I gave direction that was not taken, I moved on and took what I could get. I not only took into account personalities but forgave all inconveniences or outright slip ups and did it with a smile for the most part. I wasn't paying and so I didn't think it would pay to get upset. My how times change. Now on behalf of the client, I have to say NO or I need that right now or I might have to take my business elsewhere. Sheesh, Mean Mommy is a role better played on camera or stage. I'll bet Meryl Streep never has these problems. In fact, I'm quite sure she has the ability to tell everyone around her what she wants and how she wants it. I might have to channel Meryl once again for this part I'm playing. It's definitely a growth opportunity. All I can say is while I learn slowly, I'm sure glad my fast is over and although the weather might screw up my lunch plans, I will eat nonetheless!

Kinda sneaky but it works

2011-02-24T08:07:00.001-05:00

So lately I've been blogging at night and posting it in the morning. I find myself having those writing type thoughts at the end of my day versus the beginning. I suppose I could go into some very deep self analysis over that fact but I'm not gonna!

I just reviewed Julie Powell's current blog and checked out some of her previous posts. She is definitely a writer, ya know? Her words come complete with cussing and very little sugar coating. She's unapologetic which is necessary when writing. I admire her boldness because I temper so much of what I write so as not to upset anyone or make people think I've lost my gourd. Anyway, it makes me think that if I ever hope to transform this blog into a book, it will need to be transformed. I'll have to add in those little anecdotes that caused me to bite through a layer of my inner cheek and I'll have to bring some more of the realness to this piece. Don't get me wrong, I've been pretty open but there's always more to the story, you know?

What have I done lately you ask? Or maybe you didn't ask. Or maybe you're not even reading this ... oh the maybe's ... sheesh. Well, I've decided that I must plan a trip to LA in April. I've tossed around a couple of ideas for future projects. I've been working on the Amusement Park gig and can now officially say that I'm all caught up on my mouth breathing. That is what I wanted after all. I wanted time to not have a huge worry hanging over me but now instead, I've replaced the letters with a stop watch. It's like I feel the time ticking away and the further I move from the February 14, final scenes, the easy I will be to forget and the harder it will be to promote. These are all just tales I haunt myself with but nevertheless I guess sometimes they can be motivators.

Before A to Z with Meryl and Me, I had many ideas that would lead to more work or so I thought. I didn't follow through with them because they were too daunting. Now, here's another worry, what if I get back to the unmotivated and uninspired and make a dent in my couch that begins to effect the carpet? That's an important what if.

Well, that's what's on my mind Wednesday night and you won't know about it until Thursday morning but that's OK as is the silliness in my head ... it's all OK.

Double Phew!

2011-02-23T07:17:00.004-05:00

I handed in the options to the client for that amusement park and he was more than amused by them. In fact, he said he liked them all, was going to digest them more and get back to me. This means that I get a breather and so does my team. Did I mention, phew?! Cuz that's how I feel all phewful. What a relief. Playing characters of all different sorts is my comfort zone as long as it's on camera or on stage. In real life, I can do without being someone completely out of my element.

Next up, I must plan for my April departure to LA. Yes, in April I will be making an appointment to get my new headshots done and to meet with as many industry folks as humanly possible in a brief stay. I have to save up for this adventure and get all of my ducks in a row before then. I remember once upon a time talking to a friend and she was lamenting that she could be more organized. She was saying that she admires people who have all their ducks in a row and I said, "I know what you mean, mine aren't even ducks." She laughed but that remains true to this day. I march to my own drummer and have round about ways of doing things. It has always worked for me or at least that's what I know and so now I must round up my ducks, kitties, and buffalo and figure this thing out!

I'm also collecting suggestions from A to Z fans. I asked them what their top 5 scenes are and some common ones came up. They have said Bridges of Madison County, Lions for Lambs, A Cry in the Dark, Silkwood and oddly enough, Ironweed. What do you think? If you have favorites with regard to my performance, please let me know. It really does help. All of the scenes mean a lot to me for so many reasons that I have difficulty removing myself and making the decision. Anyway, your thoughts would be appreciated so please comment and tell me what's up!

Step One

2011-02-22T10:26:00.001-05:00

Today I will submit the three ideas my creative team has created to the amusement park client. As I looked at the final document, I saw some small typos which of course I planned to fix but I saw an even greater error in my way of looking at this whole thing. One of the ideas had a description that I thought might be slightly inaccurate but I wasn't bothered by it. I glossed over it thinking this was just a submission meant to be tweaked and two of the ideas were even going to be discarded. But that's not like me at all. Luckily one of my team members pointed it out and gave me the opportunity to look at my error more deeply.

Here's an example. The H scene. As many of you know, this was not my favorite because I fell short in my performance, or at least that's how I see it. Anyway, what you may not have noticed although I'm not sure how you could miss it, was that my hair was a ridiculous mess. It was my goal and mission accomplished I might add, throughout all of A to Z to never duplicate my costumes or hair. This means that every time I chose to use my own hair I had to come up with a different style. In the case of The Hours, my hair was meant to be in a curly pony tail. I painstakingly curled my bone straight hair, sprayed it within an inch of its roots and then put it in the pony tail. The last glance I took of it, my hair was bouncy, shiny and curly (at least by my standards). Fast forward to the finished scene. Um, can you say rats nest? Can you say is that Nancy's attempt at a dreadlock? What is that on top of her head? Where was the brush in that mess? Well, clearly I didn't see that my hair had fallen out of the curled situation and into the mess category before we shot. Obviously I did not KNOW it looked that bad. I use this example because my intentions in A to Z were always to go for perfection. I sometimes failed in terms of sound, lighting, performance, or hair but I NEVER noticed the crap while it was happening. It was always after the event.

Now, what is the difference between my current oh well attitude to my previous let's curl that last strand? I don't think I need to say but let it be said that if my heart's not in it, well, the less than is gonna come out. So, I will be tweaking that document and checking for typos and making it the very best it can be but I'm sad to say I won't be liking it. And I do realize you were all hoping I would say something like I learned that even though this may not be my dream job, there is a beauty in learning this lesson and my heart is lighter because of bla bla bla ... well, NOPE, I'm not going to lie here. Yes, I will be positive with the client and I am genuinely excited for their park transformation BUT I know my dream and my love and that's what my goal was, is and will remain until I don't love it anymore. I will definitely let you know if that happens but don't hold your breath.

Oh and if during this whole park thing Meryl Streep does call me, I am going to jump for joy and buy some shoes. Yes, that's how I will celebrate!

One Week Later

2011-02-21T13:43:00.002-05:00

and huh? what? how did I get here? I'm working in a Star Bucks and while I wait for the writer to come up with a rough draft of a proposal to be sent to the new client, I sit wondering how I got to be the head of an Ad Agency when that is not at all what I want. I do think however, I'll feel better once we submit to the client, they choose one concept for us to use and we can finally start recording commercials. Meanwhile, I woke up at 4 AM and I was ticked that I was losing sleep over a non A to Z issue. I think I'll be a lot more settled once we have a clear road to travel for this client but this is yet another affirmation in my life that acting is where it's at for me. Teaching is not. Producing is a necessary evil but NOT where it's at and being the manager of a team of professionals in an industry that is NOT my own is definitely NOT where my heart is happy.

It is one week after the completion of A to Z and I want to ONLY be working on the promotion of my Love Project but unlike Meryl Streep who is on a film set, I'm in a Starbucks wondering what I got myself into. I'm going to hit it out of the park, no pun intended and then I'm going to plan a trip to LA to get my new pictures and further plan my life in front of the camera.

Hourly charge?

2011-02-20T09:36:00.002-05:00

Let me ask you this, how does one charge hourly for a job that you think about almost nonstop? Does the thinking count? Does the worrying factor in or what? Hmm, something to ponder and then ponder again and then wonder if I should charge for the pondering.

On the A to Z front, I received an email from Terri about ways to get more hits on youtube and I really need to study that. I haven't done so yet because of the above concerns but I cannot just let it go. I have to create a reel, send it out and think about my next move.

I was pretty much counting on time and space to give me the gift of revealing what's next for me but since I'm working and thinking incessantly about the amusement park gig, I guess it will have to wait for a moment of clarity. I suppose once we get the first radio spot down I'll be less worried. Waiting for that whew moment.

Meryl Streep is still working on the set of Iron Lady transforming herself once again into another real person, Margaret Thatcher. There's already talk of oscar nominations. I'm sure you're aware that she holds the record for the most nominations and losses which is no coincidence. I wonder if Meryl still thinks it's an honor just to be nominated or if she's frankly sick of the crap and would prefer to have another win. It has been such a long time for her. I know what it feels like to wait, Meryl. I waited for one year to hear a word of encouragement from you. Nope, you didn't have one but you've been busy. Do I appear to be a fool for thinking you might call? Maybe to some. Am I a failure since you never did call? Maybe to some, definitely not to others. One good thing is I'm no longer worried about you calling. It really doesn't pay to worry does it? Not about anything, really. What does worry get you? An ulcer? Other health issues? Lack of sleep? Well, I'm not down for those things and I can't see the benefits of it and yet if you scroll up to paragraph one ... um, I still worry.

This does not mean I do not wish or hope for great phone news still because I do and I always will. I guess that's what keeps me going.

Special thanks for the V scene!

2011-02-19T07:53:00.001-05:00

Marvin's Room was special to me. Don't I say that always? Well, it's true, darn it! This was a scene about two sisters who were not close at all, in fact very different but through dealing with cancer, a sick father, an unruly teen age son they finally began to see each other in a new light. I have 5 sisters and one of them had cancer. It was devastating to me. I was so thrilled to see her have a positive attitude and a resolve to kick it's butt. Much like the character Bessie, my sister remained pretty up through the whole process. I'm thrilled to report that my sister's cancer is gone, bye bye, adios! However, in this scene, Bessie finds out that her news is not so good. Now let's talk about the players in this game because they were all key.

Spencer Jay Kim shot and edited this scene. I have to remind you that every time Jay did a scene, it involved a drive to Cleveland from Chicago. He has been working almost nonstop doing an automotive touring gig but when he had two or three days to run together, even if completely exhausted and time crunched, Jay would get on the road to once again help me. Beyond the long drive just to do the shoot, he would work completely around my crazy schedule and around the clock and ride the wild wave with me when dates got jumbled, actors schedules were complex, locations were missing or changed. I'm using this opportunity to tell more about what Jay's A to Z experience was on the whole and to be honest, it's hard to know exactly why he would want to come back for more but he always did. Since Jay is a friend and has truly been sensitive to the whole A to Z saga, it was wonderful to have him shoot this tender, emotional scene. Jay's not a Director of Photography but he does have a vision for shot composition and I think in spite of some crazy sound issues, he still put together a beautiful on screen moment. To contact Jay for work and a dedication that is truly hard to find, email him at jkimgant@hotmail.com.

Molly McGinnis played my sister, Bessie. She offered her home for the shoot. She was committed to doing a beautiful job ... and what can I say ... mission accomplished. Molly was prepared with the perfect costume, and eager to provide sound effects solutions, really down for the cause. I brought her a wig to wear that was too small for her but she put it on with no complaints. She was asked to look run down because of her character's illness and again, she complied to bring the best to the scene. Her performance was so powerful. She brought a real truth to the scene and working with her was both easy and gratifying. To hire Molly, email her at m_mcginnis@adelphia.net.

Location was provided by Molly, Tim and Bob. As I said, Molly welcomed us into her very charming home. It was much nicer than the home in the movie, Marvin's Room but it was perfect in so many ways nonetheless. Molly's boyfriend Tim, just happened to be off work the day of the shoot and I'm sure he didn't expect to have to be sequestered to one room for 2 hours straight but he did it all while managing to keep Bob, the dog, quiet and out of the shot. Bob was so sweet, he would scurry into the kitchen in between shots, excited to see visitors but when called, he went back to one as they say and stayed in a holding pattern until we were done shooting. Tim also provided us with the ring tone for my phone that was not connected to anything. So to say that Molly, Tim and Bob provided the location it really was much more than that and I'm so grateful.

Technical Support was and continues to be provided by Terri Negron. Terri has worked as a Feng Shui consultant and over the last few years incorporated the elements of Feng Shui to her web design business that is growing by leaps and bounds. Her graphic expertise has wowed me every step of the A to Z way. I appreciate her standing by my side in this project and cheering me on to a brighter future. To hire Terri, email her at terri@fengshui5.com.

Special thanks go to ...

Woodie Anderson for providing a camera for this shoot at a moments notice. Woodie is the best!
George Powers for offering the pill bottles for the shoot. Props are oh so important and he was there for me!
The Reel Thing for the administrative resource. Always in my corner and always appreciated!
Dave Thomas for providing the editing suite and continually offering it to make our edits easier. Dave rocks!

Not what I thought

2011-02-18T08:45:00.001-05:00

It hasn't even been a week since the Y and Z scenes were aired and I'm already way deep into another adventure. I do get to be on camera and radio but it's mostly a producing gig. I am responsible for hiring all the players and managing them. Basically, as I was told by veteran Manager, I need to surround myself with people who are smarter than me and who know how to do all that is involved. My biggest task is to choose them appropriately and manage them. Well, I've been managing to do a lot of crazy things over the past year. I managed to get past the A scene, create a fake Meryl Streep interview and even sound like I was from Down Under. I can do this. If A to Z taught me nothing else, it is that I can do whatever I want as long as I dedicate myself.

Producing these 4 commercials is taking up my time but I still need to get a reel edited and begin sending samples of my work to agents, directors, casting directors and filmmakers. I need feedback on what people think is my best of all the scenes. It's hard to discern because so many other factors are involved. I even ask myself do I like a particular scene because it's a tear jerker (O) or because it's a comedy (Q)or because of the other person's performance (L) or is it just all around beautiful (J) or because it was shot so cleverly (W)? Sheesh, who knows what makes me think a scene is good but in this case it has to be about my acting, more than anything else. I wouldn't pick a scene that had issues with lighting or sound but I do want something that showcases my best to edit together a reel.

Here's your assignment and I don't even know if any of you are still reading but can you tell me your top 5 favorite A to Z scenes? Maybe I just need a second and third opinion. Thanks!

A Producer? What?

2011-02-17T12:00:00.000-05:00

Loads of craziness happening since the completion of A to Z. So odd in fact that I am either going to make a short film about it or a children's book complete with pictures and narration. Hmm, TBD as they say.

Then I got a call from Gary who I worked with years ago at Sea World. He wants me to produce some radio and tv spots for a theme park. He also wants me to produce a main stage show there and plan some corporate team building type of arena and well, let's just say, a ton of other stuff. Am I a producer? I suppose so after this past year of all of these scenes. The perception is if I could do that much with no budget, imagine what I could do with money in hand. So, I'm producing those spots and will be working with Gary. First task at hand was to secure myself as the radio and tv talent and yep, that's a done deal. That is always the key. After all, being on TV, Radio in Film is the general goal, right? YES YES YES.

I also heard from Joe T at BWC yesterday and they have officially secured me for teaching in the fall. Also, not an acting gig but it pays some of the bills. I plan to restructure that class so that it's better as an experience for all involved.

Today though, in an unexpected twist I was driving down the highway and saw a funny image. If that isn't life mirroring back to me what's been happening inside, I don't know what is! I wonder if Meryl Streep ever feels like a nut?!

Special thanks for the U short film!

2011-02-16T08:37:00.005-05:00

Well, the U scene really wasn't a scene at all. It was a short film, a documentary but a tongue in cheek doc therefore making it a mocKumentary. Yes, we were mocking my crazy idea and my behind the scenes "attitude". I was at a point where I had the choice of a couple of scenes that would have been very difficult to pull together at the last minute or to have another palate cleanse, like the trailer or the interview. Jay Kim came up with the idea. I liked the idea because he was running the show and I could coast. It was like I was an actor on set who was NOT producing. This meant, I could be at all the shoots, watch the other actors but I had little responsibility. When it came time to shoot my parts, it was oh so easy, I just talked off the top of my head. Jay directed me to pretend like I was mad at the end of the scene. I basically had to make up banter to go with the parts everyone else had shot. It was a cake walk for the shoot anyway and I loved the break in action while merely wearing the hat of an actor ONLY.

So let's get to the faces we see but do not hear from and thank them appropriately. Seen but not heard are Dave Thomas, Jeff Blanchard, Jennifer Enskat, Daniel and Halle Sovich, Vic Gideon and Jean Zarzour. Jay inserted visuals from their respective scenes and as they were in the first take on the original sets, they fit in quite perfectly. I appreciate all of the work they did for me and their wonderful contributions to my project. I love those peeps!

Then there were the Director's of Photography whose footage we grabbed, including: Noel Maitland (B scene), Spencer Jay Kim (C and T scenes), Devon Collins (A, D, E, L S scenes), Andrew Gardner (J scene) and Brian Zaczek (K scene). Noel came in to save the day on the B scene at the last hour and was instrumental in the edit right when we thought it was impossible to post, thus bringing it all to a beautiful finish. Jay worked tirelessly on many scenes, acting, directing, writing, editing and was unending in his desire to contribute to my project. Devon V. Collins was the man on so many levels with being there from the very first scene to shooting 9 of the 26 scenes and editing 11 of them in total! Andrew Gardner shot the J scene on the red camera thus creating one of the most beautiful onscreen moments in A to Z, was beyond the beyond with his level of professionalism and served as guidance to me on several other occasions throughout my project. Brian Zaczek was part of the duo that came in at the very last moment to pull my butt out of the fire for the K scene and worked endlessly on the green screen production of The River Wild. To all of these cinematographers, I truly thank you for your contribution to my edits, shoots, and overall productions.

Then there are the stars of the Mocumentary. Catherine Albers (cla2@case.edu), Jay Kim (jkimgant@hotmail.com), Paul Floriano (florianoproductions.com), Tony Nicholas (tonenicholas.com), Jimmy Silver (thereelthing.com) and Greg Violand (greg0038@aol.com). Cathy is a consummate professional on stage, on camera and in life she's a class act. I appreciate her allowing us to come into her home and shoot this silly segment. Jay conceived nearly every moment of the shoot and edit and was a great sport about eating a pastry on camera. I had to go for the joke and he went right along with it, love it! Paulie was running around that day and had so much to do but without hesitation he drove over to Greg's house to participate in the U scene. Again, ever so playfully and a good sport, he came up with comic bits that were real gems. Tony Nicholas is a King in the world of music but being on camera isn't his thing per se, yet when others talked to me about the U scene, they mentioned how adorable he was and just how powerful his statements were. Maybe he's got a future there! As a side note, Tony is the one who encouraged me to take A to Z to another level by including professional crew members to widen the outreach of my project. Jimmy struggled to say things that were unkind because from the word go he has been a support to my project. He recorded the G scene and offered his studio, home, and encouraging words every step of the way. Greg allowed us to come into his home, rearrange the furniture, and even let Paul Floriano in! Of course I'm kidding, they are very close friends and I consider Greg that as well. His performance in the L scene is one of my favorites and he was a great buddy to sit on his couch and rip me to shreds. You can't just turn to anyone to tease you relentlessly all while bringing the love but these fine folks did that. I appreciate you all.

Last but never least is Terri Negron who always dresses up my blog, and my life with her cheerful encouragement. She posted the U mini film everywhere for me, and I'm so grateful for that because with all I had to do for A to Z with Meryl and Me, I couldn't manage one more thing on my plate. Thanks Terri for taking a side dish or two from my plate of responsibilities. (terri@fengshui5.com)

Post Partum

2011-02-16T06:38:00.001-05:00

A couple of days have gone by. The baby came out healthy and thriving and now, well, now I have just a touch of post partum depression. No more kicking inside or feeling as though it is the very essence of me. I actually woke up around 5:30 AM so sleep has not yet come back into my life and what was my dream? I was in a grocery store with my old math teacher, Mrs. Beebe. I didn't want to be there although I was hungry. I don't like grocery shopping. I was waiting for her to fill her cart. She mentioned living nearby and the rent only being a little over $300 per month. She also said the house was empty and sounded sad about that but was buying groceries for guests. I remember feeling lost and feeling sorry for her loneliness. I wanted to leave. I wasn't really doing anything. And why Mrs.Beebe? I don't know!

Yesterday I spoke with Terri my webmaster and we decided I need to have a three pronged attack.

1. Convert blog into a book. That would take edits, research on publishing and who knows what else.
2. MARKET A to Z which means pursue agents, casting directors and filmmakers.
3. Create new project, the one that actually pays me and everyone involved.

Obviously these all have the potential to be gargantuan tasks so one will reveal itself as the most important and I will proceed with that first. One thing I know is although I have other paying work looming I'm not looking forward to any of it because it's not acting on camera. To be so clear in knowing what I want to do for my living is a gift. I wish that for everyone. Now I just have to ignore all the people who think my wish should be something else because of the money or because of their own worries. Must move on, forge ahead and figure out my next move.

Oh and no word from Meryl Streep. I know she's in England shooting the story of Margaret Thatcher, Iron Lady, but one would think she would have the decency ;-) Actually, I don't think she has seen one letter and I know she hasn't read a single word. So, unless one of her friends stumbles upon me, to oblivion is where I will fly. That's OK. Ultimately, it's far more important for filmmakers to see me than Meryl Streep herself. So I better get to work on that.

Valentine's Day booty!

2011-02-15T07:41:00.001-05:00

That's what the pirates call their loot right? Gosh, I sure hope so or my title is wildly inappropriate. Anyway, yesterday was a beautiful day. When I made Valentine's Day the start and finish of my project I did it because I it was a project about my love of acting. I never thought for one moment about the celebration that would occur one year later. It was all a huge surprise, from the 3 cards I got in the mail on Friday to the 12 more on Saturday to the 3 flower deliveries, several more cards, and chocolates yesterday and even 3 more deliveries waiting for me at a local florist today! Can you believe it? Well, maybe you can because maybe you were one of the sweeties who sent something but I was and still am in shock! Since my blog is read by few and the scenes are seen but who knows who, I just thought maybe everyone got bored with it or the novelty had worn off and no one was paying much attention to the big finish. I couldn't have been more wrong.

So what does one do the day after it's all done? Tie up loose ends and start the marketing plan is what I'm thinking. I have many thank yous to write for the sweets Valentine's Day wishes and I do still have to show off The Bridges of Madison County and Julie and Julia. People are really loving those scenes and so am I. It's all very exciting. I want to have an awards show complete with Best dramatic actor in a leading role to best cinematography. I really do. If I can get it together I may throw a huge cast party in about a month and do a little awards ceremony. I'd have people vote on the winners so that onus wasn't on me. It might take some time to craft but I want to recognize people for their wonderful work because there was so much of it.

Then there's the marketing. Contacting Ellen, Meryl's people, Letterman, etc. I will be doing that while thinking of my next move and it will not be a freebie. I will make money and so will my cast and crew so it has to be well thought out and brilliant. I am taking ideas from all. If you have one, text, email, call, post or send a carrier pigeon.

My general mood today is one of pure excitement. I have no letters hanging over my head but I can see glimmers of something really great in my future. Whew, that's a relief. I guess it's all because of Meryl Streep and my A to Z project. It was a project that some thought was crazy but it meant and means the world to this crazy girl. Stick with me. There's more to come. You haven't seen the last of Nancy T.

A to Z with Meryl and Me last two scenes

2011-02-14T22:04:00.002-05:00

Bridges of Madison County... Francesca must make the decision to stay with her family after spending 4 days with the love of her life...

Julie and Julia
From the movie that started it all, starring Nancy Telzerow comes this scene of celebration. Here Julia Child receives the news that she will be published and shares it with her hubby, Paul...

Valentines Day - It's TODAY - someone pinch me

2011-02-14T05:55:00.003-05:00

Well, here I am at 5:30 in the morning after my final night of "less than" sleep due to my year long project, A to Z with Meryl and Me. I fell asleep reading my own blog from over a year ago. It was around January 29 when I first posted but I had already been working on things and watching movies to get the ball rolling prior to that. I was so excited and couldn't see failure. I wrote with exuberance and I had NO IDEA what I was doing. La la la, that's me skipping through a field of daisies ... la la trip la la stumble la la splat LA! Ta DA! Even very early on, there were snafus or unexpecteds we'll call them. I just kept going. If this had been another project, I might have stopped at the first one when the actor was a no show or the second one where I didn't have a DP until the very last minute BUT I didn't consider it, quitting I mean. It never entered my mind. Melt down, depression, missing eyebrow, sleepless night, not one of these "ailments" made me think of forgoing the Z.

So now here we are. Perhaps you've been reading all along. Maybe you're just now stumbling on A to Z. I have more writing to do so I hope you'll stick with me. There are more thanks and then there's the marketing which is a whole new learning curve. As it is, this past year was like a year in film school so I've learned so much about producing, directing (although I didn't choose to do much of that), shooting, editing and thank goodness ... ACTING. That was the point, ya know? I wanted to learn accents or at least change my voice and I did. There was Australian (C), I attempted to age the way my voice sounds (E), Sound like a rough bum (I), Minnesota accent (N), slightly Jewish or NY, very slight (Q), princess affectation (S), Southern (W), Italian (Y) and none other than Julia Child herself (Z). Yes, that is the Valentine's Day surprise. The final scene is from Julie and Julia, the movie that started it all.

I hope you love them. I hope you watch them. I hope this year didn't feel arduous to you and that watching me wasn't too stressful. Aside from my many crazy moments there were also moments of pure bliss. Remember my first time in the paper? My picture was HUGE! Or the interview with Jimmy? That was hilarious. What about the M scene where we created an interview with Meryl herself? It now has over 2000 views, the most of any scene! Ah, the good old days.

Well, enough walking down memory lane. Very soon, I will post the Y and Z scenes and soon thereafter, Terri will sprinkle fairy dust over my blog and you can see them too but for now, here's the link, not as pretty but with love. http://www.youtube.com/nancytelzerow

I hope to be off now and have a beautiful day. I guess that's all up to me. Love to you and yes, I mean YOU.

Up to date posting

2011-02-13T10:10:00.001-05:00

It just crossed my mind, amongst 17 other thoughts, a dress I made years ago. I was doing a Murder Mystery weekend and there was always a formal night on Saturday. My character was a flashy, fashion forward person (imagine that) and I decided to make a dress. Do I sew? Well, buttons and holes but not really. Do I use a sewing machine? NOPE. Can I make a pattern? Who needs one, I say. But there I was making a dress and it all started with a bra. Yes, a bra. It was the 80s and sequins were big. I took a black strapless bra and sewed on individual sequins over the entire surface. Now it was a colorful disco ball of bra but could I stop there? NO, not me. I decided it would be the perfect top to a strapless gown. The bottom of it should be black velvet and all I had to do was go to the fabric store and sew it to the bottom of the bra, right? So, I went to the store, pulled a huge bolt of black velvet, turned it on it's side, rolled into it and told the lady to cut there. Yes, there, right where the bolt completed it's 360 around my body. Again with no pattern in mind, I sewed it onto the bottom of the bra, by hand of course and it looked lovely until you got to the part where a closure was necessary, on the left side of my body. I decided that was the perfect spot for a long slit and then proceeded to sew snaps down the upper part of the bodice. I then took some trim that I had bought for my furniture on another creative whim and sewed it down the side around the top where the fabric meets the bra. This trim was to be the white out on the document of crazy. The end result? From one side, I was the most glamorous, put together sparkly fashionista and on the other side, I had to paste my arm to cover the crooked seam and the slit that was way too high.

Why do I tell this story? It does summarize who I am. One one side, it's all polish and looks effortless and on the other the seams are falling apart and there is an arm glued to the seam covering it's faulty tracks. That's how I handled A to Z with Meryl and Me. So when you see the final scene and you notice my hair flopping all around, just know that I MADE that wig with bobbi pins and a prayer and I hope you can look around it, after of course your initial belly laugh, to see the location, costumes, performances by all.

Valentine hearts all around me

2011-02-13T09:06:00.004-05:00

Last night, rather this morning at 1 am, I found a stack of Valentine's Day cards and notes of congratulations in my mailbox. I grabbed my flip camera and recorded me opening them. At times I couldn't read the words through the tears. I got notes from the AFTRA board (they all wrote on the card), Facebook friends, and even a guy who ran the camera for an audition I did the other day whom I only met once. That's the thing about A to Z it was like catching a fever and it was contagious for the most part. Once you watch one, you can't help but see another and if you participate in one then the comparison is inevitable.

I was surprised both yesterday and the day before to find the cards and that's because there was a part of me that thought maybe no one would notice that Valentine's Day was extra special for me this year. Maybe people lost interest. Maybe I was the tree in the woods. These were my dark thoughts before going to my mailbox. And I must say, although I'm the WORST at sending cards, I LOVE cards. I love a written note. I love verbal expression of sentiments. That's just me.

So how can I use words to describe what I'm feeling when I'm not quite sure myself? On one hand there is a load of relief and on the other there is a sensation of being lost. What will I do next? I don't want to go back to life before A to Z and move on unaffected. That would be ridiculous. I have one person in my ear saying you need to put this all behind you and another saying this is just the beginning of A to Z. What does my own voice say into my own ear? My own voice is somewhere in the middle. I do know that the marketing must begin now and I do want to create something completely new. I also know that the next step must be funded because I cannot go on funding it with out help. Still it would be much easier to hear from someone who wants to hire me to be in their film so I could take the producer hat off for the time being.

I did get a call about Producing a project that is not on camera or even voice over. It's more of a live event. I will do it for the money as will I teach in the Fall for the money but my heart is not in either of those things and I already miss having my heart connected to my work.

At this point, I still have to receive the final edit of the Y scene and then I can post it to youtube and call it a day ... Valentine's Day. Thank you all for being my Valentine this year.

5:30 in the what?

2011-02-12T05:43:00.001-05:00

I woke up an hour ago ... 4:30 AM. Need I say more? I started thinking about the fact that I haven't decided on my costume or wig or shoes for my last shoot. I realized I have to still make one of the props and work on the script and BAM I was up for the long haul. I should be resting so I can knock this one out of the park but I'm just so wide awake.

Last nights edit was wonderful. Mike Salemi is a professional, thorough and very conscientious editor. As a client you couldn't ask for a better collaborator. He has edited it me before but like in most cases with editors that means that he might be familiar with my face but we had never met. Chuck Chubbuck works with Mike a lot and highly recommended him. I can certainly see why. I'm so excited about the scene and while I"m at it, Adam White shot it and when he said after just a couple of takes that we had what we needed, he was right. We really did have exactly what we needed. The scene looks like two people madly in love and it's a very touching rendition of this part of the movie. I'm proud of it already.

So the pressure is on ... the last scene has to be good too! I'm not saying I think that every scene has been great but I certainly don't want to go out with a fizzle. So cheers to a good shoot and to a warm meal following it all when I can breathe a sigh of relief and say Bon Appetit.

Double duty on the posts lately

2011-02-11T22:49:00.001-05:00

I guess there's just more to say than ever. I still have many thanks to write and they will be coming your way so after Valentine's Day please stick with me some more.

Today we edited the y scene, aka Bridges of Madison County. Adam White shot it and Mike Salemi edited it. They both did awesome work. I think it's a good one. Chuck Kartali's performance is tremendous and unlike the many stage performances of his that can only live in one's memory, this scene will be posted for all to watch and rewatch. To see him in this performance will impress you. He's an exquisite actor.

Tomorrow we shoot the Z scene ... you know, the surprise one. I had to get a new shooter and editor because scheduling was getting too crazy. So, now I will be adding another new face to the A to Z crew roster. His name is Beau Roberts and I cannot wait to work with him. He already said he has some ideas of how to shoot the scene and that just makes me feel great. It will be nice to do something creative that's planned. There's way more to this story but I'll have to share that another day.

The highlight of my day was when I went to my mailbox and found 3 Valentine's Day cards. They were not from my Valentiner's but instead from A to Zers. WOW. I cried. Really, I did. It was so touching and it was nice to learn that people outside of my innermost circle actually realize the fact that Valentine's Day is the day of completion for my love project. Thank you to all who are aware of it and celebrating along with me. And to anyone trying to reach me, I will be more available AFTER Monday.

Today's Edit and when will we shoot the Z scene?

2011-02-11T07:49:00.002-05:00

Today I'm meeting with Mike Salemi to edit the Y scene. I already saw some of the look of Bridges of Madison CountY but I'm very excited to see the performances. I hope it's all that I imagine ... we'll see.

I spoke with Devon yesterday about setting up the Z shoot. His schedule is crazy right now. It just so happens that his available times are the only times my actor is not available. I think I may have found two hours of overlap and that's if Devon rushes to get to the location and my actor, Marc rushes to his next appointment. Boy, I sure do seem selfish don't I? I have all day Saturday ... every single minute is available to do this thing but not so for my team. What I'm trying to avoid is having to recast or find a new Director of Photography for many reasons. First of all, Marc is perfect for the role of Paul Child and he was honored to be asked and truly looking forward to it. I don't have someone in mind for his replacement. Then getting a different Director of Photography would also be a bear because to find someone at such late notice is tough and the main reason for doing that would be so we could shoot today which now I'm not prepared to do and I have scheduled the Y edit for today. Plus there's the fact that I started this all with Devon and wanted to end it with Devon.

So I posed Devon the question about the two hours of overlap but no word from him yet. It really has to be Saturday or Sunday and I actually got Devon to agree to shooting and editing both on Saturday but if we can't do it in those two hours ... sheesh, I don't know. I really don't want to be shooting or editing on Sunday. I cannot express how much I do NOT want that. I need Sunday to breathe. I know that sounds ridiculous but this has been so tough and I do not want to be up at midnight on Sunday only to have it posted sometime LATE on Valentine's Day. That just won't do and I want to enjoy that day for whatever it brings. Now I sound like a whiny baby and I sure don't mean to but this has been a long year, can't we all just get along and bring it on home? Well, not too many of the letters went without a hitch so why I'm expecting that from Z is beyond me ... but please, oh please, can't it just all fall into place?

I just woke up before writing this and had a dream that I had a baby. The delivery was super easy, or so I was telling my sister, Jenny, who promptly said my phone was on and she could hear all sorts of complications. I couldn't remember anything but what seemed to be a super fast delivery and not many issues. Let's hope that when I look back on A to Z, after a bit of time has passed, that I feel like the delivery of this baby was well worth it and easy as pie.

Special thanks for the T Scene!

2011-02-10T18:46:00.001-05:00

Today I'm posting twice. There are so many people to thank and although I'm creeping up on the Z, I'm all the way back to T in my thanks. Do you remember the Heartburn scene? It wasn't the funnest scene to watch. Let's face it, a pregnant woman finds out her husband's cheating on her and her world comes crumbling around her, well, isn't one of my pick me up scenes but nevertheless, it was an honor to play Nora Ephron. Nora has written some of my favorite films including Silkwood, Sleepless in Seattle, You've Got Mail and Julia and Julia. Is it any wonder why I admire her so? Now, if you're not into chick flicks and I certainly wouldn't call Silkwood a chick flick, she's written way more than what I show here but her work makes me laugh, cry and think. What more could a person ask for when watching a film. So Nora, if you stumble across this blog, I just want you to know that I've seen many of your films and read two of your books and I think I just may love you. No, I don't want to date you nor do I even need to call you and tell you about my laundry but I do love you nonetheless. I think you're funny, smart and damn entertaining. With that said, I hope you don't mind that me and my cohorts acted out a scene from your semi autobiographical story, Heartburn. I hope I did it justice and although I'm no Meryl, I was just trying to be you for the moment.

Heartburn was shot and edited by Spencer Jay Kim. This was an interesting one. Jay has never claimed to be a shooter per se or even the world's best editor but it was good to have a friend behind the camera while I cried for two hours straight. It's a shame you can't see the tears pouring down my face but they were and Jay was mindful of that fact and made it easy on me. He was patient and thoughtful and ever so conscientious about just how tough this subject matter was which is why we captured a lot of gold. Jay writes his own films. He's quite the writer and he composes the music as well. I'm going to have to ask him to send me a link to some of his scores so I can let you hear them. They are beautiful, oh so cinematic and his contribution to A to Z has been that too ... quite beautiful. To hire Jay as an actor, director or composer, email him at jkimgant@hotmail.com.

Mark Forman was played by Jeremy Kendall. I met Jeremy while working for Travel Centers of America on a corporate video shoot. I then worked with him in the film, Lilith. This however, was the first time that we actually were in a scene together. Yep, the third time playing husband and wife and yet it took an A to Z scene to get us actually in the same room. Originally we talked about him playing the Robert Redford part in Out of Africa but when I scrapped the idea of doing another big scale scene, we went for simple and heart wrenching. I've said it before but it's worth repeating, being quiet, just listening and reacting in a scene can be tougher than being the with all the lines. Sure there's less to memorize but you have to fill out the other half of the moment with a lot less to work with and get this ... Jeremy's reactions made me better. That's what always happens when you have a partner who really brings it, their performance elevates yours. Now, you may not think I was all that in this particular scene but Jeremy WAS and I was so grateful and honored to finally play opposite him. To contact Jeremy for work email him at jeremykendall70@gmail.com or go to his website at http://www.bigredactor.com.

The Camera and Editing Suite were provided by Greg Del Torto. Greg was the actor in the A scene ... wow, remember that one? It all began with Greg on the other end of the phone. Well, once again, we called Greg and he was there for us, ready to help out in a moment's notice. To contact Greg for work email him at gregorydeltorto@att.net. He's an awesome person to have in your corner.

Location was provided by Woodie Anderson. Woodie, oh Woodie, the provider of so many wondrous elements to the A to Z project. When I mentioned the look and room and I needed, he was right there letting me know that he had just the spot for our scene. It was perfect and although I know I use that word a lot it's because it was ... perfect. A great many thanks are owed to Woodie. Woodie is a magician, MC, singer and actor. By the way, I mean a literal magician not just one who magically comes up with solutions. To contact him for work, email him at woodieand@aol.com.

Terri Negron has been my Technical Support but to be perfectly honest she's been my emotional support as well. She has been in my corner since I had my first A to Z inkling. She's a doll. I cannot say enough about her speedy assistance and attentiveness to my project. To work with her, email her at terri@fengshui5.com

Special thanks go to Anderson Industries http://www.multipleproducts.com, and
The Reel Thing http://www.thereelthing.com.

What a Thursday!

2011-02-10T08:22:00.005-05:00

Yesterday was the shoot for Bridges of Madison County and it was so well worth the wait I can't even express it. Adam White shot it. Woodie Anderson provided the perfect location, a ton of equipment, and took behind the scenes pics. Donna Williams was the PA. Chuck Kartali is such a brilliant actor and he hit it out of the park! Wow. My makeup artist got the stomach flu so I didn't have that benefit and although I did my own, it was a bit worn out by the time I got to the shoot. Also, I forgot my bobby pins so I couldn't put my hair up in a french twist but I'm hoping the acting will distract from my shortcomings. I pictured myself getting there about an hour early but after having to rush to get gas, wine glasses, candles for the scene ... I ran out of time and got there promptly but certainly not early, at 5 PM.

It all went very smoothly and the shoot was pretty fast. We didn't do a thousand takes. It seems like we captured it quite quickly. Did I mention Chuck's performance? I'm going to be getting comments on that one for months to come. I just know it. Overall, this was a wonderful crew and they got me home at a nice early hour. At that point, I did start to get hungry but I fasted all day long so I wasn't going to blow it then.

Today I think I will be meeting with Mike Salemi, the editor for the Y scene. He is a friend of Chuck Chubbuck's and a great guy. I'm excited to work with him and I think it will go quickly. He already sent me a music bed and seems to be all over it ... YAY! He also said if we don't finish it today, we can wrap it up on Saturday at some point.

I also got a call from Devon yesterday and we made plans to talk late last night but he had a shoot and I think it went long. We'll talk today. His shoot was with his son, Isaiah and it was his son's first commercial. I can't wait to hear all about it. I love his son. He cracks me up. Should be a good story.

So, today the edit I think. Tomorrow the shoot for Z, I think. Saturday the edit, I think? I really don't know anything for sure until I talk to Devon but I really hope it goes that way so I can just sit still on Sunday. Wouldn't that be great? I think so! And as crazy as this schedule might seem I do want to have conversations that are unrelated and be removed from my A to Z world here and there.

Meryl Streep is in England shooting her Iron Lady movie where she plays Margaret Thatcher. Her pictures are amazing! She looks just like her.

Soon my shoulders will be lower ... but not today

2011-02-09T08:48:00.001-05:00

Why are my shoulders high you ask? Because when I get tense they creep up around my ears ... it actually shows. Let me tell you about today's schedule and you will see why they are already climbing Mount Everest.

Today I have an audition, an appointment with my makeup artist, my shoot, a visit to the upholstery guy to pick up the light kit and see his handy work, the first scheduling phone call with my editor for the Y scene, and about 30 other tasks. Meanwhile, my dear friend from grade school ... my first best friend in fact, just lost her Mother to a long illness. The funeral is today. Now technically, the business calls I have to make could be from anywhere. The first place that is specifically at a time is my audition at 2 PM so I could make an 11 o'clock funeral to be there for her. I haven't seen her in years but I remember when my Dad died and how much it meant to me to see some faces from my grade school or high school. It really touched me. Also, I know my friend's entire family and I would love to see them, granted it would be better under different circumstances but you know. So, I do want to go and think it is important but I'm exhausted already and still have so much to do today. I didn't even get into the packing of the props and the preparing the costumes and the working on my accent and oh, what about my lines ... I need to learn those too. Also, I didn't mention that if I add the funeral to my day that makes for 3 outfits and make up changes. I'm still undecided maybe I'll know more by the time I finish typing this. Usually I would ask a friend what they think I should do but everyone is so out of touch, including me.

Then there are the other stressful things happening in my life. Throughout this project I've neglected so many people. I keep getting messages from people I really do want to talk to but I don't have the time. It's like I want everyone to know that after February 14, I'll be back to normal but no one can be sure that is true. I have never stayed home as much as lately when I'm just at my computer researching, learning, watching DVD's, studying and it can get to be pretty lonely. Yet, there aren't many people I would actually want around because my energy is too low to entertain. That doesn't make any sense does it?

Then there's the blog. Oh the blog. I've had 3 very telling discussions about my blog lately and I'll share what they have meant to me. On one hand there is a part of me, the unfair part I must admit, that feels that if a person really cares about me for them to read my blog, actually take 5 minutes per day, isn't asking much. On the other hand and this was pointed out to me by TWO people, the blog isn't really the true me. It's the edited me. It's the politically correct me. It's the Me that wants my Mom and a host of other friends not to worry to much. It's the me who is ever so mindful of everyone's feelings. So it requires a lot of reading between the lines to see what's really going on and if you think the blog is edited you should ask me about A to Z face to face ... not much is said there either. That is truly the antithesis of what a blog is supposed to be but I'm also very reliant on soooooooooooo many people that if I said my true feelings about any given moment it could make for some very entertaining reading but it could hurt people. That's never my intention. So I drone on, and quite boringly if that's a word. I keep it PG not even PG 13 and I sort of wish I would have kept a journal on the side to allow myself to release all of those hidden thoughts and feelings. So why would I have the need for someone to read it? Why would I even care if someone close to me took the five minutes? It doesn't make sense, I know. There's no logic there but then again, as was pointed out to me by TWO friends, if they really know me they would read it and realize there's more to the story. What a great jumping off point when they finally do get me on the phone instead of a rehashing and me telling the PC version first.

The last 3 Wednesdays were fasting days for me but we decided not to fast last on the third one. I think today though, I will get back to it ... who has time to eat anyway? I have so much on my mind. I wish I could say that the Z scene is planned but it's only about half way there and that freaks me out. I wish I could say that my every relationship is running smoothly but that's not the case and it makes my stomach hurt. I wish I could get a pardon from all around me and just a gathering of support through Valentine's Day but I might be arguing with what is ... so what is? I'm just sitting here blogging to you and wondering about a funeral ... with my shoulders around my ears.

Oh and Meryl Streep. Yes, let's not forget Meryl Streep and um, Meryl Streep. Maybe that will get me on the google blog search for the day ... can't forget about that.

down to the wire

2011-02-08T08:10:00.004-05:00

At 11:32 last night, I selected the final scene for A to Z with Meryl and Me. I then immediately sent an email to Devon and the actor I'm hoping will be able to costar with me. I have one more role to be cast and that's of a female voice over but I may do it myself ... not quite sure yet. If not, I have a couple of ladies who would be great in mind.

The scene itself is about 1 minute long. It's short. It's sweet and it's celebratory which really seems like the right thing for my swan song. Meanwhile, choosing the scene so late with the week I have in store for me is crazy!

Today I have to go to Chuck's house (editor for trailer, I scene and kickstarter video) to help him produce something for a potential client. I often do little jobs like this to help out the many who have helped me along the way. Before I go to his place in Stowe, I have to head to the Upholstery place where I just may find the handle I've been searching for as a surprise for Woodie. Gosh, I don't even know if Woodie reads my blog ... if so .. STOP READING NOW Woodie!!!! Anyway, when he loaned me the light kit one year ago and so graciously allowed me to use it for a great majority of my shoots, I noticed that the case had a missing handle. It's a huge, cumbersome case ... well, for me anyway, and I'm sure it would be way easier to transport if that handle were still there so I've done my research and determined that I can have it fixed for him, at little cost and has a tiny token of my appreciation. So, I have to do that on Mayfield Rd. in South Euclid, around 10 am before I head to Chuck's. Then Wednesday, I have the Y shoot at 5 PM. I then have to figure out how to get the footage to the editor who I think will be editing Thursday morning. This editor is not someone I've ever worked with on A to Z but I'm pretty sure he has edited me in corporate settings before and so although I won't talk to him until Wed morning, it should be ok. THEN there's Friday. Devon mentioned maybe that would be a good day to shoot the Z scene with the following day for the edit.

Um, can you say action packed? Can you say down to the wire? By the skin of my teeth? By the grace of God and everyone involved? Sheesh, I just hope I remember all that I have to do in which order so it goes off without a hitch. May Meryl Streep and all of her perfection be with me in spirit, keeping me on track. I sure need it!

Where's my ribbon?

2011-02-07T08:33:00.006-05:00

I'm trying to tie this puppy up and as usual a few items are missing. No worries though, I've got a new found energy and it's going to be a wonderful finish, no matter what.

I'm already starting to think about future endeavors. I'm clear on a few items after having a wonderful conversation with Jimmy, my next project will be funded. It will still have me acting. It will involve the best of the best. It will not have a crazy deadline so less pressure. I will produce it myself ... hey, I mean after all of this I have learned some things right? It will be original ... no one else's already produced script, no star to emulate, just me creating a character. At this time, that is all I know but I think that's a lot, don't you?

Special thanks for the S Scene!

2011-02-06T15:22:00.005-05:00

She Devil ... what a fun scene that was and I looked forward to it and actually miss it. It was such a collaboration by so many. I loved it for many reasons so I better begin telling you why right now!

Devon Collins shot and edited the She Devil Scene. The more the merrier, ya know? Except on shoots. The more people, and other variables the degree of difficulty rises considerably. With food/ drink placement and multiple characters in an elegant, elaborate setting, Devon managed to find the balance and created a funny and beautiful picture. To hire Devon email him at stimulifilm.com.

Vic Gideon played my "lover" in the role of Bob Patchett. The role was perfection for Vic or he was perfection for it ... either way you say it, I was thrilled to see his smiling face across the table from me. Vic has been a member of AFTRA for years and you probably remember him from his reporting days on WKYC. He can be heard on WDOK and WLTF as one of the key morning show replacements. To hire Vic for your next shoot, email him at vicgideon@gmail.com.

Andy Patchett was played by Daniel Sovich and although he was merely a "step son" of sorts for my character, this was not the first time I got to be his Mom on camera. I met Daniel on a video shoot for the Travel Centers of America and he was wonderful. Since then I've been quite impressed with his many stage performances and even his own singing showcase on youtube. To see him sing, go to http://www.youtube.com/user/8486laurie#p/a/u/0/VRMLHpAiI1k He does his own arrangements! He blows me away. I'm proud of him like he really is my son! Bless his heart.

Nicolette Patchett was played by Halle Sovich. If you noticed a common last name that's because I dipped into the same talent pool for the brother/sister combo and was fortunate enough to find a real life brother and sister who are so incredibly gifted. Halle also sings and can be seen here singing with Daniel. http://www.youtube.com/user/8486laurie#p/a/u/2/Avw1dwCxUEQ. As if that weren't enough, she was also the 2009 National Teen Dance Champion in Orlando Florida. Wow! What a talented family!

Jean Zarzour played my mother, Mrs. Fisher. Jeannie has been a long time friend of mine and during those many years she has found way more than I've lost ... well, better put, she's the founder of Lipschtick Productions, putting the show in business (lipschtick.com). Got Pay? Artist advocacy and education resource. Find Your Voice, Voice Over Institute, where she shares her years of experience in voice over with class after class. (http://www.findyourvoice-voiceactinginstitute.blogspot.com. To see Jean's film credits go to http://www.imdbme/jeanzarzour. She is currently in Love and Other Drugs starring Jake Gyllenhaal and Anne Hathaway and was recently seen in an episode of Detroit 1-8-7. Yep, that Jeannie sure gets around and I was thrilled to have her sitting around the table with me keeping everyone in stitches! To contact her directly for work email her at lipschtick@lipschtick.com.

My make up was done by Karen Laskodi and what a beautiful job she did! I specifically said that I wanted to update this movie. It was shot in the 90s so the characters reflected that decade but since that wasn't crucial to the story line I really wanted to capture the appearance of a modern day shallow, plastic woman. Where back in the 90s, fake nails and lots of make up would have been enough, I asked Karen to give me a nipped and tucked look and she really did a wonderful job. She had my eyebrows up half of my forehead. It was amazing! If I look just a little snugger in the face, that was Karen's work too. She was an absolute pleasure to have on the set not only for her make up talents but also popping in as a production assistant, where needed and that was quite often. To contact Karen for work, email her at destijlm0vement@yahoo.com. You will be amazed at how awesome she makes you look!!!!

Ilona Simon contacted me about getting involved in A to Z with Meryl and Me. It was the first time I considered product placement. I immediately thought of She Devil and the pure perfection of having Budapest Blonde Cocktail Mixes at the table in our scene. Ilona is the Creator and Owner of this growing company and even has a video about it, check it out here. http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1528061975324. What I love about the mixes is the fact that they are low in sodium and she uses natural ingredients. What I love about Ilona is her grab the bull by the horns attitude and let's get this thing done and done right! On set, Ilona not only brought the table dressings, garnishes for the cocktails and of course her mixes but she also with the help of Karen, wrangled the dog, refilled all the glasses throughout the shoot, and kept everyone well attended to the entire time. She was a gem. Look for her mixes at your local Heinen's or as you will see in her video at a host of other stores. The business is really taking off and I encourage you all to raise your glass to Ilona. She's the best!

Terri Negron has been my web designer, tech support and overall cheerleader from the word go on my project. I have listed countless times all of her efforts and what she contributes. It's time you found out for yourself and just hire her. I've said it before and I'll say it again, you will feel like you're her only client and since I happen to know she has a long list of them right now, that's an amazing feat. To contact Terri email her at terri@fengshui5.com

Extra special thanks go to some of other behind the scenes contributors.
Doug Katz and Toni Cervino for the environment.
Leonard DiCosimo and Ilona Simon for their Budapest Blonde Cocktail mixes.
Laurie Sovich for bringing her two fabulous kids to my shoot.
Dresden Buras for recommending Karen Laskodi.

What a fun, fun, fun scene. I'll say it again and again. Keep watching it and passing it along to your friends.

Did I say tomorrow? I meant the other tomorrow

2011-02-05T10:18:00.001-05:00

OK, so yesterday I did very little other than ruminate over what if's and what could be's regarding A to Z. I'd like to say I solved the rubik's cube or did anything of value but that wouldn't be true.

Today, I have decided to scrap Music of the Heart as my last scene. Why? Because I'm not up to finding 8 violin students. I wish I were but time is running out and as it is we will be taping and showing the Y scene very close to the 14th. Here's what I've come up with ... while talking with The Jimmy ... um, maybe I shouldn't say. It's another scene from an entirely different movie but could be the perfect finish if I could get the location etc.

I'm off to the library to find that other movie ... you know, the mystery movie I won't tell you about ... and then I will definitely select the scene and set up that shoot and edit ... I'm going to get it all done, Meryl Streep style. That means with class and elegance but if you know me those might not be the perfect two adjectives. I'll do it with _________________ and ____________________. Hey readers ... YOU fill in the blanks and get back to me!

Love to you all!

Thinking about bridges

2011-02-04T11:42:00.003-05:00

And I don't just mean the Bridges of Madison County. I figuratively leaped off a bridge more than a year ago to begin my A to Z journey. I've written about all of the ups and most of the downs. Still, it's as though no one quite has the entire story. I've kept myself on the other side of the bridge. I've sequestered myself to some extent as a means of preservation. I mean, I've been putting myself out there and squinting - wincing at the thought of what might come back at me. Meryl Streep? What do you really think is going to happen? Won't you be glad when this is all over? To answer: yes, Meryl Streep. I seriously don't know anymore what will happen ... and glad? That's not the word for it.

Tomorrow I will finally post the She Devil thanks. Long after Valentine's Day I will write and thank and post and promote. So will it be over? Not really.

It's all crap

2011-02-03T10:46:00.002-05:00

LOLOL... just kidding, The Jimmy just said that but I'm pretty sure he wasn't talking about A to Z. Although, there are times when I would say that about certain things that go on ... here are some ideas I have for documenting, creating memories, and tying this all up in a pretty bow.

1. I want to send each actor an email with a collection of quotes from viewers. In other words, each scene I post gets comments on both youtube and facebook and I would do my best to retrieve all comments for each actor and send them as a gift that says how very well they did and how appreciative everyone was. That's a lot of work though.

2. I want to do the same for the shooters. There are a ton of comments directed towards them and who doesn't love to hear that? Again, time consuming for me.

3. I want to do a 30 day, after the fact daily video log after Feb. 14. I think doing the 30 days just at the end hasn't been as fruitful as it could be because I'm still so wrapped up in the day to day. This could be good and yet, I might just want to stare at a wall and mouth breathe after that date, ya know?

4. I have to start my marketing attack ... and that's what it will definitely be an all out attack to get MORE WORK using this incredible reel which brings me to ...

5. I need to make a reel of two things, the best of and the bloopers. Well maybe it needs to be three things because behind the scenes could be good too.

Truth is, I never want to forget all that happened during this past year and all of the good that came from it. Oh there's more I want to do but I'm not sharing that just yet.

X is for "It's Complicated"

2011-02-02T09:44:00.004-05:00

X is for It's Complicated starring Nancy Telzerow. Jake and Jane Adler have been divorced for years but lately haven't been acting that way. In this scene Jake has just collapsed on one of their rendezvous. Luckily this Dr makes hotel calls.

It really is complicated

2011-02-02T08:13:00.001-05:00

Today you will see the scene from one of my favorite movies. At first I wanted to do the huge party scene. My thought was I could gather everyone who did anything for my project and have a real party with them as extras. How cool would that have been? Instead I settled for a 3 person scene. I wish we had more choices in terms of angles but kudos to Tom who gave us some real gold in just ten minutes of shooting! His expressions had me laughing in the edit. Also be sure to listen to the awesome music provided by Jonny and His Dad. Every time I have heard this song I have said I love it and it reminds me of the type of music Nancy Meyers always has in her films. It's perfection. I'm thrilled about using it.

We are very close to setting next weeks shoot date for Bridges and then I just have to lasso some young violin students for the big finale. Wish me luck. Meryl Streep has taught me a lot and I'm only just beginning school.

About to be on the radio again

2011-01-31T12:43:00.002-05:00

Today, 11 am PST, I will be joining my dear friend, Kelly Sullivan Walden on her radio show to once again talk about A to Z with Meryl and Me. I love talking with Kelly on air and off. I hope to promote it enough online so that we get some callers. Last time I was on the phone someone tried to call in but we didn't make a connection. I look forward to connecting. I LOVE the phone so it should be fun. When I was little I used to collect play telephones and I would have them all around me, talking on them in rotation. Oh, how much fun I used to have and to this day, me on the phone ... usually makes me pretty darn happy.

What's next ... X, Y, Z and that's all I'm saying about that. I will let you know the very many things I accomplished today, tomorrow.

3 more or 2 more? QUESTIONS??????????

2011-01-30T09:16:00.003-05:00

I have had so many questions throughout A to Z. They keep popping up. Which scene will I do? In what order? Who will shoot it? What about the editing? Where is the best location? How will I accomplish all of this with no budget? Oh, the questions and they keep coming.

So here I sit on a Sunday wondering about my next edit and my last two scenes. I even thought that maybe I should do a grand finale of X, Y and Z for February 14! Remember the J, K, L? That was a trifecta. It could be OK. What I really don't want is to put up the x scene on Wednesday morning and have it up there for only 5 days to then put up the Y scene for only a few days and follow it with Z. None of them will get their fair share of air time.

Oh and then there are the Y and Z scenes ... I sort of saved the best for last and I sort of saved the most difficult for last. The last two films are Bridges of Madison County and Music of the Heart. I originally randomly selected the Bridges movie to be the B SCENE. Can you imagine? Of the 26 films, Bridges was one of my all time favorites. I must admit now I'm a bit sick of it because I no longer watch it and get lost in the story but instead I search for the perfect scene. That kind of sucks the fun out of it. It doesn't stop me from bawling my face off when he's standing in the rain or when she gets the news that he died but it's still less fun. When I first selected Bridges, I immediately knew what local actor I wanted but he's a busy fella. LOL... since when do I call anyone fella?! Anyway, I did a shuffle and put Before and After in that slot with the idea of placing BridGes in the G spot. That didn't come out right but you know what I mean. Well, again with the busy so I contemplated the N and then decided on the Y ... Bridges of Madison CountY ... yes, that would be perfect and it appears that the busy fella is less busy. So then there was the scene. I first selected the scene in the kitchen where they argue about him leaving her behind and just using her and eventually fall into each other's arms crying. Then I thought about the rain scene but who has a rain machine? Then I thought about the scene where they first fall in love and act on it, where they dance in the kitchen. The dancing scene was so sweet and it showed them in love which is truly what the movie is mostly about, love BUT then as I began transcribing the script for that scene, it was very short and mostly consisted of making out. I immediately thought of Mom and thought, sheesh, do I want to choose that one? And so begins the long list of questions. Meanwhile, I haven't sent a script to the busy fella and although he's said he was wide open in the month of February I'm quite worried that I'll finally decide and he'll say sure, any time after the 15th. I really shouldn't put that out there but it's a question floating around. Meanwhile, I cannot get my hands on the movie itself. It's not at the library. I know I could go rent it but that has been my trick throughout this whole ordeal. I've almost spent ZERO on movie rentals. Oh well, I will drop the 2 dolla and make that decision today. Wish me luck! I will need it.

Then there's the Music of the Heart scene. I've ALWAYS known exactly which part of the film I wanted to shoot. There is a class of students in the scene I love and finding them isn't as easy as it could be. If it were the only thing I had to concentrate on, I'm sure I could do it. I even asked my facebook family their opinions and they were wonderful. They gave me a long list of suggestions that I could follow up on but what I truly wanted was for them to say I have a class for you, and they agreed to do it at your convenience. Wow, here's a question for you .. am I dreaming or what? That is what I wanted. I just didn't feel like the chase but it's on. Oh yes, it's on like Donkey Kong.

So today my goal is to select the Bridges scene, send the script to the actor and select that shoot date. Then I need to re-watch Music of the Heart and see if there's an easier scene to shoot that would require less people. That will be a huge disappointment to be perfectly honest but if I don't find one that makes me happy I will create a list from the many suggestions and make the plan to call them all Monday to proceed with my originally selected scene.

Speaking of Monday, I'll be on the internet radio again. You can click on this link and listen at 1 PM eastern time. I will be the first 15 minutes of the show. YAY! I love that part and those are questions I will actually be looking forward to ... I sure will!

Crazy shoot

2011-01-29T11:20:00.002-05:00

In the land of A to Z we usually have a start time of 1 PM or sometimes it's an early one at 11 AM but in the case of yesterday's scene from It's Complicated, we had a call time of 5:00 PM with a definite go by 5:45 ... well, that was the plan anyway. The time was selected because I was working around the schedule of Devon Collins who has been doing a juggling act with several clients. This, by the way, thrills me. I love it when my peeps are working so no complaints here. The two actors, Mike and Tom were right on time at 5 PM. Devon was scheduled to be there around 5:30 which would allow for last minute touch ups to wardrobe and running the script. Here's where we make sure we know what we're about to say.

At around 6, I got a bit worried, no Dev. Hmm, so I texted to see what was happening and he said they were just getting into their cars in Kent! Oh my, that's about an hour away. I promised Tom he could leave by 7 PM and it was looking like Dev wouldn't arrive until 7. He had been on a shoot that he was sure would be done by 4:30 but they added some last minute locations. These things happen a lot in this biz so I totally get it. Meanwhile, I asked Tom what's the latest he could stay and he said 7:15. Tom was the first to say that he might not be able to do this shoot because of a prior commitment but with my promise of him being out in plenty of time, he agreed to do it. I felt awful!

We began shooting at 7:17. By 7:25, Tom was wrapped. Did we get all we needed? Not really. Devon had the great idea of asking Tom for his sweater for the rest of the shoot. Tom very nicely left it behind and it was lucky too because I had to put it on and act as a stand in and Mike had to put it on for the same reason later too. This was creativity at it's best. Then we shot the second half of the scene. All in all, we began at 7:17 and by 8:24 we had already been packing up for 10 minutes. I'm not exaggerating. To say that I think we got all necessary takes would not be true. To say that we hit it out of the park would not be my choice of words either. I'm thrilled that it was a light hearted scene but there are some things that I didn't get to capture. I had some directing notes that I gave that were never realized and I really wanted that extra variety for choices during the edit.

Onto the edit ... well, the plan was to edit last night and then that got switched to today at 3 PM and then I received a Facebook message saying today is bad so how about Tuesday. My only desire was to get it done before Monday so one would think a single day wouldn't mean much except this is FEBRUARY and we have TWO MORE to shoot and this must FINISH on February 14. Yes, I am emphatic. It's one of two deadlines that are NOT negotiable. SO, ... oops sorry, don't mean to shout, I do understand the conflicts of course. I do understand that people are busy. I do understand. I understand. I'm understanding. Let's break that up under stand. To stand in my mind is to be tall, proud, strong like a mighty oak. To be under is to be down, beneath, low. So I understand ... yes, I do.

I better get my understanding butt into the editing suite soon and figure out the last two shoots so I don't have to over stand and get cheeky at the end of my project. We can do it, people. We can. Only three more to air and two shoots to go ... come on ... do it for Meryl Streep or better yet, do it for Nancy T!

Todays shoot ... lots of fun!

2011-01-28T12:11:00.001-05:00

Today we shoot a scene from It's Complicated. I think it's true to say that of all the films so far, I've never wanted to do several scenes from a film more! I love so much of it. First of all, it's one of the few Meryl films I would have watched even without the project. It's right up my alley plus it's a Nancy Meyers film. Yes, that does qualify it as a chick flick and you may not be a Meyers fan but I am a huge one.

So today I will be shooting with Devon Collins, Mike Kraft and Tom Kondilas and it's gonna be fun! Then it's on to the Y and Z and I can't believe I'm saying that. This year has gone by so slowly and so fast all at once. Thank you to all who have been on the A to Z train with me. I'm still chugging along and I'm a happy girl!

Ouuuuuchhhh

2011-01-27T09:05:00.001-05:00

The ribs still hurt, maybe even worse. It messed with my sleep again. I have a shoot tomorrow where I need to look about 15 years older. At this rate I should have no problem with that.

Today I still need to get a robe for me and some blood pressure equipment for Tom who will play the Dr in the scene.

I'm going to go back to watching Ellen Degeneres do her stand up on YouTube. It is the perfect funny distraction.

An Elephant is Sitting on My Rib Cage ... but other than that

2011-01-26T14:08:00.003-05:00

I'm fine. The other day I was hanging with some friends when at the end of the night I found myself hanging from the arms of one of them. In other words, he squeezed me so tight and then lifted me that I was in fact dangling. Two days later and two nights later of restless sleep, I'm sore. I mean like someone punched both of the sides of my ribs and left big bruises, sore.

Know what I'm not sore about though? My shoot this Friday will be great. Cast, crew, location and most of the wardrobe are set. Things are looking good and for those of you wanting a comedy it mostly is a very light hearted scene.

Guess what else. I heard from Jill Zarin's facebook administrator, Maggie. I'm guessing her job is to manage Jill's facebook fan page and maybe she does a few other internet duties for Jill. Maggie, sent me a message offering both of their email addresses so I could get my point across. WOW! Isn't that cool? Maggie, thanks so much, if you're reading this. I wrote a rather long email detailing the A to Z road and then stressed how much I want it to grow more especially since my input and everyone else's has been largely without financial compensation. I hope the letter finds Jill in a helpful mindset. I just know she will have to appreciate the amount of work accomplished with no money at all! Jill gets it. Let's hope she gets it. Well she's got it ... my email ... that is. And if I know that connected housewife from New York, I'll bet she has the connections to all the important peeps right in Meryl Streep's back yard. How cool is that?!

Oh the Mind

2011-01-25T12:01:00.002-05:00

So yesterday after my interview with Kelly Sullivan Walden, I began thinking about what I said. Out loud I proclaimed that Meryl probably wouldn't read or see my stuff because it was on the internet and because of what I've learned about her. I hung up and thought the New Yorker is something she looks at and I'm sure she runs across page 6 and definitely if she heard something about it in the post, her interest would be piqued. With that said, again the mind starts cranking.

Why is it so darn important for Meryl Streep to know about this anyway? Well heck, I'm not doing scenes from Meg Ryan's movies, although that might have been more appropriate. Julia Child had her own thoughts about what Julie Powell was doing and I hardly consider her an internet surfer so if she could find out where's the stretch in Meryl finding out. OH well, beyond all of those thoughts swimming in my head, I also thought of Jill Zarin. Jill is on the Real Housewives of New York and she is quite connected. Since I'm on her page on Facebook, I thought about sending her a note but that's not possible because it doesn't allow for notes. You just never know with someone like Jill, if I crafted the perfect missive and she found it entertaining and attention getting enough, she just might bite. Oh boy, Jill if you're reading this, I don't mean attention getting in a negative way just in a socially relevant way ... yes, that's what I mean.

Well, those are just some of the swimmers in my brain. That and the fact that I have to seal more deals for X Y and Z and I need to write the She Devil thanks.

Lighting a fire under my you know what

2011-01-24T11:25:00.001-05:00

A fire would serve two purposes, the literal ... warmth and the figurative, incentive and putting procrastination off until tomorrow. I have been meaning to do some of the tasks that go with creating the last three scenes of A to Z for some time now. Still, I put it off, get distracted, start eating something or take a call, ya know?

Oh, the distractions. There are so many. The Jimmy and I were just talking about how easily we distract ourselves all day long. I don't mind though because when I look back over the past year I realize for someone who is usually quite distracted, I've gotten a lot done. So, here I go ... only a short blog today so I can get this done and I mean DONE! Let's see if I'm right.

Much love to you all .... byeeeeeeeeee